Dude.

Father's Day — in the US, at least — is quickly approaching. So it's somehow appropriate that I've got a hankering to talk about men. Nothing salacious, mind you … just a post on the enigmatic state of being a guy today.

I've said it before: men and women are different creatures. I know this, perhaps, better than I know most anything. As a gay man, I am inexplicably drawn to that elusive quality that makes men … men. It's certainly not anatomy; nor our job or the way we dress; nor our mannerisms or the roles we play in life. But there is something — something preternatural — that resonates within us, Male and Female.

So if it's not any of that — if our eternal gender is something so obfuscated by culture and genome — why care? Why all the fuss? I can't speak definitively, of course … but I've got a hunch.

Culture, in many ways, is part of a complex survival mechanism. It gives us the tools to both survive and thrive within a given context. Sure, it's imperfect, but it's powerful all the same. So being able to internalize and transmit ones culture is a sign of ones spiritual/psychological fitness in much the same way that symmetry in physique is a sign of ones genetic health — and it carries with it the same heady allure.

But something happened over the last century. Culture became unhinged, in many respects, from reality. The feedback loop which kept most aspects of a given culture intimately connected to its milieu was co-opted by technology and our own counter-culture drive. For the time being — blessed, as we are, with practically free energy and blinded as we are by technology — culture isn't a matter of survival. It's an accessory like shoes or cufflinks. So now we pick and choose from myriad cultures the shiny bits that intrigue us, while ignoring the repercussions.

Men no longer enjoy the confidence of living within a cohesive culture.

Sitcoms tell us that men are buffoons. That we are hapless, witless, feckless creatures — outshone in every respect by women (which, I suspect, is equally annoying to women). We're told that we think about sex constantly and engage in sex at such an early age that by junior high, the virginal male is social equivalent of a third nipple: pathetic and ineffectual. Other players tell us that average men sport genitalia of equine proportions and are either bronzed and polished gods or hirsute demigods. Still others feed on our sartorial sensibilities and dress us up in costumes unbefitting men who actually work and live in anything but Second Life™. I could go on … but you get the idea.

And that's just in secular life … General Authorities and their comments about the spiritual superiority of women and the odd and pervasive comments about wives always being right are as emasculating as the sitcoms. Moreover, the rhetoric of role-playing and stewardship — which I believe obliquely addresses eternal principles — is stuck in Mid-century America. With the Beavers.

But there's hope.

A nascent man movement in the US — which has roots both in religious circles and the secular world — seems to be scratching at the surface of the problem … and blogs such as The Art of Manliness and Rules for My Unborn Son are fine products of this renaissance. It's a hard thing, though, to refashion something so complex and nuanced as culture from scratch. It's a bit like the scientists of Jurassic Park fame attempting to recreate dinosaurs from incomplete DNA, spittle, and hubris. We're bound to create a few monsters along the way. It's not a natural process, after all — cut-off as we are from the bright and instructive light of life outside our technology-induced stupor. Which is why I think that the Church's role could prove pivotal. And the Proclamation on the Family is a good start. But I fear that we won't really understand the value of that document for some time — burdened as we are by the muddy mandates of memory.

So that's it. Like so many things in modern life, what it means to be a man is much less clear — but if we're careful and given to inspiration, we'll exit the other side of this fog better men, better sons, brothers, and fathers. Which is to say, in so many words, happy Father's Day (whatever that means).

NB: This post is cross-posted from Dude, please join us over there to comment!

Chinese Factory Worker Can't Believe the [Crap] He Makes For Americans

Sure it's from The Onion... but we all know it's true. Horribly, profoundly, embarrassingly true.

Green My Apple

I was a member of Greenpeace when I was a teenager — young, and filled with righteous anger at the myriad injustices of the world. But in an ironic twist, I eventually became cynical and jaded at Greenpeace's ability to effect positive change in a world filled with cynical and jaded people.

So it was a pleasant surprise to see a Greenpeace campaign actually make it through to my little corner of mainstream America... and even more pleased that the campaign plays directly into my life.

So I thought I'd pass it along...

From the Green My Apple site:

We love Apple. Apple knows more about "clean" design than anybody, right? So why do Macs, iPods, iBooks and the rest of their product range contain hazardous substances that other companies have abandoned? A cutting edge company shouldn't be cutting lives short by exposing children in China and India to dangerous chemicals. That's why we Apple fans need to demand a new, cool product: a greener Apple.

Amen.

Web Tool: Freecycle

I'm a web geek; I use a lot of web tools... and sometimes I'm reminded by my friends that half of the stuff I take for granted is utterly unknown to folks who see the sun more often than I do.

Take Freecycle, for example. I came across Freecycle a couple years back when I was trying to declutter my life.

I had a lot of stuff that I didn't need... but it wasn't quite right for the thrift store basket. Like... unpainted, assemble-yourself furniture that never got put together; a bag of antique glass beads that I came by; partially used cans of quality paint. I think you get the idea. Anyway, I couldn't drop the stuff off at Deseret Industries because they'd either refuse it (mattresses, jeans with holes), or would probably break it (dishes), or would just have no idea what to do with it (cables from old computer set-ups).

Enter Freecycle.

Freecycle uses Yahoo Groups to connect givers with takers. How does it work? From the web site:

When you want to find a new home for something — whether it's a chair, a fax machine, piano, or an old door — you simply send an e-mail, offering it to members of the local Freecycle group. Or, maybe you're looking to acquire something yourself. Simply respond to a member's offer, and you just might get it. After that, it's up to the giver to decide who receives the gift and to set up a pickup time for passing on the treasure. Our main rule: Everything posted must be free, legal, and appropriate for all ages.

You can find (or start!) your local chapter using the Freecycle site.

I belong to the Salt Lake City chapter of Freecycle.

Hattip: PSFK and A Green Idea, who reminded me that not everyone knew about one of my favorite web tools.

Another Football/Soccer Post

Watch the adorable soccer kid commercial above... then, when you're in the mood to buy some sporting equipment, buy it from Fairtrade Sports. Leave the irony of buying children's toys made by slave children in the past.



( Hat tip: Seth Godin's post on Fairtrade Sports )

Who's Your Daddy?

So I drove past the Delta Center a week back, and noticed that the Delta Airlines sign was in bad shape — faded and banged-up. And I thought that it was time they replaced it... who would have thought the demons in charge of irony would hear my little prayer?

Seems like Larry H. Miller has left Delta in her nightgown, and has gone and jumped into bed with the hottest thing in town: nuclear waste. Yup... the Delta Center is now, officially, EnergySolutions Arena. Don't recognize the name? Well, they're the fine folks we used to call Envirocare ( and a few other things, that I won't print in my blog ).

The irony of a company like that sponsoring a sporting center isn't wasted, of course, on the good folks over at the Salt Lake Tribune. They're asking folks to give the Big Gray Box a nickname... so slink on over to the poll, and make your voice heard! What shall it be?

Glow in the Dark Park
The Tox Box
Nuclear Winner Stadium
Nukeback Mountain
Meltdown Manor
The Fallout Shelter
Plutonium Palace
Radium Stadium
The Glow Dome

I voted for the Tox Box... but the Glow Dome is a close second.