Silus Grok

Girl Cooties

2009-08-23T12:08:00.004-06:00

I've not been to a Mormon singles event in years. Until last night …

I live in Salt Lake City and I'm of a certain age. Which means I have great LDS friends — wonderful, well-intentioned folk — who are actively seeking to get married. And because they're Mormon, they can't help but evangelize. So I've been asked on numerous occasions to attend this or that mixer. It's all innocent, of course. They know I'm gay, and just want to include me. They're having a blast, and they think I will, too.

Heck, maybe they think that the right girl'll get me to switch teams.

But I say "no" — consistently — and I always get the puppy dog look and the "but why".

Here's why: no matter how often they insist that everyone's just getting together to meet new people and to make new friends, it's just not true. Friendships are the sloppy seconds. Facebook adds, phone numbers, and first dates — thems're the holy grail. So going to one of these events — where the girls are on the prowl for a husband and the men are on the hunt for a kiss (and maybe a wife) — well, it's just asking for trouble. So what do I do? Do I jump in the closet and risk getting propositioned up the wazzoo by the girl in the corner. Or do I stay out of the closet? The guys'll squirm and the girls will act betrayed.

But my friends are persistent.

…

It's called "7 Guys for 7 Others" (they mean girls — read into it what you will) or, at times, "7 Hunks for 7 Hotties". It's a Facebook-facilitated LDS dinner club run by some friends of mine. It's a great idea … and here's how it works: about 300 people (!) are divided among 20 restaurants in groups of 14 (seven guys, seven girls). We eat and chat, and get to know folks we've never met before. Maybe some phone numbers are exchanged. Then we meet back at a suburban stake center where all the rooms have activities going on. Didn't click with the folks at dinner? No problem! There'll be 150 new prospects at the after party. Of course, there's more interest than available seating, so the after party is where folks who didn't make the cut for dinner come.

It's wildly successful.

Last night's event elicited 500+ responses for ≈300 seats. We even had people flying in from out of state.

My group landed at The Cheesecake Factory. I'd never eaten there, before. And while I avoid chain food, I was looking forward to the evening. We arrived piece-meal. Single 30-somethings scouting the (enormous) crowd outside of TCF for folks who might be 30, single, Mormon, and part of the dinner club. It took about 30 minutes, but by the time our table was ready, 11 of us had found each other. One showed up with some flourish a little late. Two were no-shows.

The table was long and the restaurant was loud … so we naturally broke into two smaller groups. Eight folks at the other end fell under the spell of the late-comer, whom I dubbed "Clark Kent". Soon, our group broke into twosomes. I felt sorry for the girl who got me … she came to meet 7 great guys and got stuck with the affable one with no chemistry.

"I bet he's gay", she was thinking. "Our server is cute", I was thinking.

We chatted … a little bit about my job, a little bit about a gloriously failed blind date she recently went on. We listened in on the two next to us, adding the occasional bon mot. It was nice. And not nearly as bad as I'd imagined.

We then decamped to the chapel in the suburbs for the after party. Dance music in a darkened Relief Society meeting room, light refreshments in the kitchen, one of those weird BYU touching games in another, a rousing game of volleyball in the gym … and 300–400 of the hippest 30-something Mormon singles I've ever met.

I saw my friend who'd goaded me into coming (and helped organize the event) out in the foyer … we chatted for a second, but he was busy doing the meet-n-greet. I got guilted into the touching game, but escaped unscathed after a couple rounds. I skipped the refreshments (always a good idea) … and then stepped into the gym to watch the volleyball game. It was a lot of fun to watch — and everyone was really into it. Surprising, given that everyone was in their dinner clothes.

And then Babs walking into the room.

I'd known Babs back at BYU. We were in the same ward for a few years … bright, bubbly, and unlucky in love. Her eyes sparkled as she scanned the room. I stopped talking-up the cute guy and jumped over to see her and give her a big hug. It's been more than 10 years, and she was still the same amazing woman I remembered. And still single.

She played a bit of volleyball, then we went out and set-up court in the foyer. We sat and caught-up … she's teaching down at BYU, her brother who was in the ward with us just married — at 39. And me? Well, this and that and I'm still gay. So she grilled me — so many questions, so much to say — all things gay and Mormon. It was absolutely delightful, stepping out of the closet. We talked for almost an hour.

It was late, and the smarter folk were peeling away to head home. We hugged goodbye and promised to talk again soon …

On my way out, I ran into Clark Kent. I chatted him up to the girl he was wooing and took their picture with her camera phone. He blushed at the attention and said his head was swelling at the compliments (gays make the best wing men).

Before I left, I asked if he was on Facebook.

NB: This post is cross-posted from Girl Cooties, at Nine Moons. Please join us over there to comment!

5 Other Places

2009-08-10T11:22:00.002-06:00

While I love Nine Moons (and even visit By Common Consent and Times & Seasons, from time to time), I must admit that my life online doesn't revolve around the Bloggernacle™. In fact, of the eight or so hours a day I spend online (work, mostly), I'd say only a few precious moments each morning are spent among the saints. What, pray tell, could possibly tempt me away from the iron-alloy rod? Well … lemme tell you. I won't bore you with a list of all 600+ feeds in my newsreader. Instead, I'll just hand pick a few gems:

1001 Rules for My Unborn Son — part of a larger library of "daddy" and "dude" sites I follow (Cool Tools, The Art of Manliness), 1001 Rules is a delightful compendium of wisdom, wit (ahem), and music. Start at the beginning.

TED Talks — I love having my world view challenged (occasionally). These folks who bill themselves as "ideas worth spreading", offer "riveting talks by remarkable people". And they do it with charm and panache. My favorite? A must-watch 15 minute talk on the Liberal and Conservative mindsets.

Cute Overload — sometimes kittens (or puppies, or something else, entirely) are just what the doctor ordered for a bad day. Be sure to check out the Rules of Cuteness.

Front Porch Republic (found via the inimitable Russell Fox) — I am, most of all, a political creature. As a child, I dreamt of being king of a small, sovereign state carved out of Montana (apparently I wasn't alone). But practical considerations suggested I work within the system. The folks at FPP write much that resonates with the best of me. I think they may resonate with you, too.

Player-vs-Player (a close second would have been Looking for Group) — online comics are my guilty pleasure. And PvP is the best-written, best-drawn, geekiest, and funniest of them all. No need to start at the beginning, you can catch-up with the character bios. Or just buy a t-shirt.

NB: This post is cross-posted from 5 Other Places, at Nine Moons. Please join us over there to comment!

Dude.

2009-06-17T11:05:00.003-06:00

Father's Day — in the US, at least — is quickly approaching. So it's somehow appropriate that I've got a hankering to talk about men. Nothing salacious, mind you … just a post on the enigmatic state of being a guy today.

I've said it before: men and women are different creatures. I know this, perhaps, better than I know most anything. As a gay man, I am inexplicably drawn to that elusive quality that makes men … men. It's certainly not anatomy; nor our job or the way we dress; nor our mannerisms or the roles we play in life. But there is something — something preternatural — that resonates within us, Male and Female.

So if it's not any of that — if our eternal gender is something so obfuscated by culture and genome — why care? Why all the fuss? I can't speak definitively, of course … but I've got a hunch.

Culture, in many ways, is part of a complex survival mechanism. It gives us the tools to both survive and thrive within a given context. Sure, it's imperfect, but it's powerful all the same. So being able to internalize and transmit ones culture is a sign of ones spiritual/psychological fitness in much the same way that symmetry in physique is a sign of ones genetic health — and it carries with it the same heady allure.

But something happened over the last century. Culture became unhinged, in many respects, from reality. The feedback loop which kept most aspects of a given culture intimately connected to its milieu was co-opted by technology and our own counter-culture drive. For the time being — blessed, as we are, with practically free energy and blinded as we are by technology — culture isn't a matter of survival. It's an accessory like shoes or cufflinks. So now we pick and choose from myriad cultures the shiny bits that intrigue us, while ignoring the repercussions.

Men no longer enjoy the confidence of living within a cohesive culture.

Sitcoms tell us that men are buffoons. That we are hapless, witless, feckless creatures — outshone in every respect by women (which, I suspect, is equally annoying to women). We're told that we think about sex constantly and engage in sex at such an early age that by junior high, the virginal male is social equivalent of a third nipple: pathetic and ineffectual. Other players tell us that average men sport genitalia of equine proportions and are either bronzed and polished gods or hirsute demigods. Still others feed on our sartorial sensibilities and dress us up in costumes unbefitting men who actually work and live in anything but Second Life™. I could go on … but you get the idea.

And that's just in secular life … General Authorities and their comments about the spiritual superiority of women and the odd and pervasive comments about wives always being right are as emasculating as the sitcoms. Moreover, the rhetoric of role-playing and stewardship — which I believe obliquely addresses eternal principles — is stuck in Mid-century America. With the Beavers.

But there's hope.

A nascent man movement in the US — which has roots both in religious circles and the secular world — seems to be scratching at the surface of the problem … and blogs such as The Art of Manliness and Rules for My Unborn Son are fine products of this renaissance. It's a hard thing, though, to refashion something so complex and nuanced as culture from scratch. It's a bit like the scientists of Jurassic Park fame attempting to recreate dinosaurs from incomplete DNA, spittle, and hubris. We're bound to create a few monsters along the way. It's not a natural process, after all — cut-off as we are from the bright and instructive light of life outside our technology-induced stupor. Which is why I think that the Church's role could prove pivotal. And the Proclamation on the Family is a good start. But I fear that we won't really understand the value of that document for some time — burdened as we are by the muddy mandates of memory.

So that's it. Like so many things in modern life, what it means to be a man is much less clear — but if we're careful and given to inspiration, we'll exit the other side of this fog better men, better sons, brothers, and fathers. Which is to say, in so many words, happy Father's Day (whatever that means).

NB: This post is cross-posted from Dude, please join us over there to comment!

A Very Gay Transcript

2009-04-21T16:53:00.004-06:00

A heads-up: a web/e-mail friendly transcript of the Very Gay Podcast is available at my YouPublish site: A Very Gay Transcript. It’s available (like the podcast itself) for anyone to use, under a Creative Commons license.

That is all.

I'm in Love …

2009-04-05T17:24:00.003-06:00

… with Color. Thanks, James, for turning me on to Jen Stark.

A Totally Gay Podcast

2009-03-30T10:26:00.005-06:00

I was recently interviewed by Nine Moons founder Rusty Clifton about my being gay and active in the church — and about California's Proposition 8. If you've got 45 minutes, give it a listen…

Listen to the podcast…

NB: This post is cross-posted from Nine Moons: A Totally Gay Podcast, please join us over there to comment!

Cleaning Out the Closet

2009-02-04T10:52:00.020-07:00

So the remodel (phase one, at least), is coming to a close. Which means I have no more excuses to be living out of boxes. Time to go through those boxes and edit, edit, edit … and that's where you come in. I've got stuff going straight to charity … and then I've got stuff that I like too well to give to just anyone — and a few items, even, that I'm only going to let go to the right buyer.

Here goes:

Hollywood bed frame. Adjustable for twin and full box springs. Free for the taking. TAKEN

Custom bed frame for full mattress. Steel, powder-coated construction. Finish color is "root beer". Not the best picture.

Mid-20th-century ceramic pillow form. Japanese. Purchased @$75. Make an offer.

16 FLOR brand cocoa-colored coir carpet tiles. Purchased @ $400. Make an offer. TAKEN

Mid-20th-century shoji game board. Japanese. Solid wood — I believe it's alder. Purchased @ $60. Make an offer.

Pétanque set (like bocce or lawn bowling) — includes rules. Purchased @ $60. Make an offer.

Two wreathes with faux red berries. TAKEN

Two kissing balls with faux red berries. TAKEN

Mirrored picture frame. TAKEN

Wooden picture frame. TAKEN

Double picture frame in marquetry. TAKEN

Leatherbound picture frame. TAKEN

Good Morning World!

2009-01-31T10:18:00.007-07:00

I love how light reflects off its myriad planes … and how the passing of the day brings such a panoply of variation.

For all My Friends with Girlfriends/Wives

2009-01-30T09:12:00.006-07:00

One of my favorite pastimes is helping my friends dream-up gifts for their loved ones. So I'm tickled to death to find this interesting service that helps dudes create one-of-a-kind games they can play with their girlfriend or wife. It's called games for her by you. I have no reason to buy one, myself … but I'm betting — based on the well conceived website — that these are top-notch.

For all My Friends with Offspring

2009-01-29T16:47:00.003-07:00

Oh man … I wish I had had this when I was loosing my teeth — check out this fancy-schmancy Tooth Fairy kit.

Que C'est Mignone!

2008-12-14T18:10:00.003-07:00

Once upon a time... from Capucha on Vimeo.

Meme: Things I've Done

2008-11-25T20:13:00.003-07:00

Caught this meme from Andi, over at A Random Sampling. It's pretty easy — just copy the list and embolden the items that you've done in your life…

Started your own blog
Slept under the stars
Played in a band
Visited Hawaii
Watched a meteor shower
Given more than you can afford to charity
Been to Disneyland
Climbed a mountain
Held a praying mantis
Sang a solo
Bungee jumped
Visited Paris
Watched a lightning storm at sea
Taught yourself an art from scratch
Adopted a child
Had food poisoning
Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
Grown your own vegetables
Seen the Mona Lisa in France
Slept on an overnight train (yes! … love trains!)
Had a pillow fight
Hitch hiked (no … but I've picked-up several)
Taken a sick day when you’re not ill (it’s called a “personal day”)
Built a snow fort
Held a lamb (no… but I've held a cougar and petted a dolphin)
Gone skinny dipping
Run a Marathon
Ridden in a gondola in Venice
Seen a total eclipse
Watched a sunrise or sunset
Hit a home run
Been on a cruise
Seen Niagara Falls in person
Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
Seen an Amish community (oh, but I'd love to!)
Taught yourself a new language
Had enough money to be truly satisfied
Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
Gone rock climbing
Seen Michelangelo’s David
Sung karaoke
Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt — and I've seen the original geyser (in Iceland) erupt, too!
Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
Visited Africa
Walked on a beach by moonlight
Been transported in an ambulance
Had your portrait painted
Gone deep sea fishing
Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
Kissed in the rain (no… but in the snow, yes)
Played in the mud
Gone to a drive-in theater
Been in a movie
Visited the Great Wall of China
Started a business
Taken a martial arts class
Visited Russia
Served at a soup kitchen
Sold Girl Scout Cookies
Gone whale watching
Got flowers for no reason
Donated blood, platelets or plasma (a long time ago … they don't let me any more)
Gone sky diving
Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
Bounced a check (oops!)
Flown in a helicopter
Saved a favorite childhood toy
Visited the Lincoln Memorial (no… but I have been to the Jefferson)
Eaten Caviar
Pieced a quilt
Stood in Times Square
Toured the Everglades
Been fired from a job
Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
Broken a bone
Been on a speeding motorcycle
Seen the Grand Canyon in person
Published a book
Visited the Vatican
Bought a brand new car
Walked in Jerusalem
Had your picture in the newspaper
Read the entire Bible
Visited the White House
Killed and prepared an animal for eating
Had chickenpox
Saved someone’s life (not that I know of)
Sat on a jury (no, dammit … and I wanna know why!)
Met someone famous
Joined a book club
Lost a loved one
Had a baby (there's only one dude who's had a baby, and I'm not him)
Seen the Alamo in person
Swam in the Great Salt Lake (splashed in it!)
Been involved in a law suit
Owned a cell phone
Been stung by a bee

Now, on all the visited this and thats … well, I've not done a lot of the things they've asked about, but I have visited: most of the 50 states, Tiajuana, four Canadian provinces, England, Iceland, Denmark, Japan, Hong Kong, Singapore, and Thailand. Not bad, if you ask me.

:)

What Goes "In" Must Come "Out"

2008-11-17T11:11:00.004-07:00

For your reading pleasure: another wonderful snapshot of family life at Samantha's home. Thank you Adam. Thank you Samantha.

:)

And here are a couple of stories (I & II) that sound like Adam in 30 years.

On Veteran's Day …

2008-11-11T18:00:00.005-07:00

My family is light, when it comes to veterans… and perhaps this isn't all that unique — but I can't name a single ancestor who's been a veteran. My great-grandfathers on both sides weren't alive during a war … and both grandfathers were too young for WWI and too old for WWII. Dad was too young for Korea and too old for Vietnam. So it shouldn't be surprising that I never really thought to much about veterans, as a kid.

That is, until junior high… the junior high I attended used the ASVAB test (a standardized military aptitude test) to gauge school successes on a number of fronts. For their generosity in providing the test, the military was given access to our scores. I scored in the 99th percentile. Unsurprisingly, I was soon barraged with all sorts of recruiting proposals. I wasn't hip to the idea, so I registered as a conscientious objector. The proposals stopped almost immediately.

It was also around this time that I became politically aware… and fell in love with a number of more liberal causes (no nukes, the Dukakis campaign, and the like), and any appreciation for our veterans was sidetracked by a certain level of distrust.

Fast forward a few years, and today I can't help but tear-up when I think of the sacrifices asked of our armed services — and the invaluable part they play in our enduring freedom. Don't misunderstand: I'm still very leery of the military-industrial complex, and an ardent opponent to our current military engagements. But I learned somewhere in the intervening years that I could hate a war without hating our soldiers.

So today, on Veterans Day, I'm thinking of our men and women in uniform. And I'm grateful. Thank you.

NB: Yes; I re-wrote the post completely. I can only think that maybe I was tired or hungry when I posted the original.

Grickle

2008-09-19T22:11:00.003-06:00

I know it feels like I'm turning this into a video blog. But really … I can't help it. I keep finding really great videos. I promise: I'm thinking deep thoughts about the Palin affair, about gay marriage, about realpolitik — but when I come across something visual, my gut just aches to share it.

Behold, the genius of Grickle:

I Am Not Like Mr Wurfel

2008-09-08T18:52:00.002-06:00

I'm not… I'm not… I'm not!

But something about this animated short struck a chord in me.

Warming Up on McCain / Palin

2008-09-05T18:50:00.006-06:00

I've got plenty of serious commentary on the progress of the campaign — which I'll get to soon enough. But why bemoan, when you can just laugh your arse off:

And then there's this one, from CNN… I'm not sure which is more amusing: Ben Stein (a major Republican strategist — and a man with a delightful cameo in Ferris Buehler's Day Off) gobsmacked by the choice of Palin — or the CNN talking head stunned at Stein's candor!

Airport Not Always Connecting to Preferred Wireless Network

2008-08-30T12:43:00.005-06:00

I love my mac… and I love my shiny new wireless home network. But each morning, when I turn on and log into my computer, I get a little pop-up: "None of your preferred [wireless] networks are available. Please choose another network". So I find my home network in the list of available networks. I choose it, type in my snazzy password, check the box that says "remember this as a preferred network". And dive into my morning.

But then tomorrow comes, and I'm back at square one. It's nothing big — but I can't really start my day until I'm online, so it's a bit of a hassle. So yesterday I turn to my friend Google: "mac not connecting automatically to a preferred network", I type. And voila! There's a wonderful thread over at the Mac Rumors Forums: Airport Not Always Connecting to Preferred Wireless Network. I don't know who JSweeny is… but their response was a day-maker:

Move “System Preferences.app” back to “Applications\”.
Delete all instances of “Preferred Networks” in “Network Preferences”.
Delete all “Airport network password” instances in “Keychain Access”.
Restart your Mac.
Add/Join applicable preferred network using the Airport pulldown menu or in Network Preferences (as if for the first time). Use “Advanced” in “Network Preferences” to confirm the existence of your preferred network and the correct settings. Use “Keychain Access” to confirm the existence of the applicable “Airport network password” instance and the correct settings.
Restart your Mac. The OS should now find your preferred network and join it on its own.

Problem solved.

Man, I love the internet!

Medals per Million … and Matthew Mitcham

2008-08-26T09:41:00.007-06:00

( I love alliteration )

So a think tank, whose work I follow, has an interesting post on their blog about medals counts at this year's Beijing games. It's a recurring theme. Every two years, folks from the left side of the political spectrum trot out the whole "medals per million" argument. I used to fall for it, but I don't any more. It's not that I'm any smarter now — or that my progressive political credentials are any less valid. It's two things, really: I'm tired of my political kin apologizing for the things America does well. We have plenty to apologize for anyway, no need to add legitimate strengths to the pile; also, the metric they're using is horribly flawed.

As I noted in my comment on their post:

While I wholeheartedly agree that raw medals count is a fairly useless metric — and one we choose because it suits our own aspirations and strengths — I'd have to submit that medals per capita is equally (though differently) useless.

In order for a small country to compete on the raw medals count, it would have to win everything it entered and it would have to field just as many athletes as larger nations. Which is unlikely. For a large country to compete on the per-capita scale, the Olympic games themselves would have to be vastly larger in order for countries to field a number of athletes commensurate to their size. In other words, for the US to best the Bahamas on a per capita basis (6.67/MM) they would have to enter and medal in 2,001 events… China would have to enter and medal in 10,005 events.

Neither is achievable.

A more reasonable measurement of success would be significantly more difficult, as it would likely pit nations of similar populations or GDPs against each other in a ranking that would also measure some other factors such as number of athletes fielded and the like.

In the end, I think the best thing to do is to enjoy the Olympics in the spirit they're intended. Rooting for the glory of the sport first… our homeland or other demographic second (if at all). And letting all rivalries be friendly ones.

Of course, I used the term "demographic" purposefully. I not only came to the games as a red blooded American — but as a Mormon and a gay man, as well. So I rooted for Phelps and the BYU, er… American Volleyball team… and for Matthew Mitcham.

What? You don't Mitcham? Well, aside from being a gold medalist on the 10 meter platform — and an Australian — Matthew is, arguably, one of the only openly gay men to ever medal.

Here's a montage of his 10 meter dives:

and another of his post-gold TV interview — the young man to his left is his partner of two years, Lachlan Fletcher:

Oh l'Amour!

2008-08-13T22:14:00.004-06:00

I love animation… and I especially love the student work done at French powerhouse art school, Gobelins (the irony that a visual communications school has, perhaps, the ugliest site I've seen in some time is not lost on me). Check out this recent masterpiece… Oktapodi.

UPDATE: Here's a little "making of" video!

For Sale … For the Taking

2008-08-13T08:50:00.013-06:00

Last week I did a little editing, and have some items for sale and for the taking. And since I'd much rather my stuff go to good homes, I'm offering them to friends and family before I put them up on Craigslist or on Freecycle.

Dibbed (but not taken) — Mac Mini + External HDs with Wireless Keyboard and Mouse — $350

My Mac Mini served me well — with a total of 700 GBs of storage — and it'll serve you well, too.

Hardware:

Processor: 1.42 GHz Power PC G4
Memory: 1 GB DDR SDRAM
HD: 80 GB Original Internal, 500 GB + 120 GB LaCie Externals
Video: ATI Radeon 9200
Networking: Airport & Bluetooth

Software:

Up-to-date OS (Leopard + Software Updates)
Latest iWork Suite
Latest iLife Suite

For the Taking

TAKEN — Brown Microfiber ("Suede") Throw Pillow

TAKEN — Woven Grass Basket (I turned it upside down and used it as a bedside table)

TAKEN — Twin Bed — Mattress, Box Spring, Hollywood Roller Frame

The stuff on top of the bed is staying with me (at least for now).

Lemme know if you're interested!

Obama, Obama, Obama… That's all McCain Ever Talks about!

2008-08-04T21:22:00.003-06:00

The Boston Globe recently indexed the official blogs for the presidential campaigns of both McCain and Obama. From the index, they created a word cloud for each. And wouldn't you know it… everyone's talking about just one man.

Hat tip: Marbury.

A Cycle of Violence

2008-08-01T08:04:00.005-06:00

Over the years, I've had the… um… opportunity to interact with police in a variety of situations. Traffic violations, calls for support when kids were trespassing in our condo's pool, city functions, and just out on the beat. And while a few have sported "tough guy" attitudes (lamentable for any civil servant), they've all been professional. A few, even, have even been spectacular. So when I hear stories of police brutality I am immediately of two minds: "the story's being blown out of proportion" and "authority breeds unrighteous dominion".

But some times — on rare occasions — I'm of only one mind. Take a look at this footage:

Now read the follow-up story in the New York Post (not known for an even-handed approach). Here's more about the Pogan assault at the Smoking Gun. If you're not familiar with Critical Mass, they're an amazing grassroots cyclist empowerment organization. There's even a small Salt Lake City chapter.

Of Good Report, 7 | The Good News

2008-07-29T22:30:00.005-06:00

I though that I might talk about my Mac… or my iPhone — great (amazing!) tools I use day in and out. I thought I might talk about the Farmers Market, which I attend faithfully every Saturday morning. And I thought about mentioning Enterprise car rentals, whose presence in my neighborhood allows me to forgo car ownership… I thought of all these things, but none of them seemed a proper ending to this series.

No, in all honesty, only one thing really and truly warrants mentioning: the gospel of Jesus Christ. It fills me with hope, it gives me direction… and on the rare occasion when I think I can't take another day, the gospel reminds me that I can — that life is good and that I am loved.

Life is amazing, and it's too easy to dwell on the potholes when what we really need to be focusing on is the view. Thank you for staying with me through the series!

This post is part of a week-long series focusing on the good and praiseworthy in my life… please consider reading all seven: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.

Of Good Report, 6 | Music

2008-07-27T14:04:00.029-06:00

I've loved music from a very early age… mom even says that I danced before I walked. So it's no surprise that with school came jazz choir and stints in a couple musicals and that church brought Sunday morning choir practice… nor that I was the first in my school to listen to this or that group, or that much of my allowance went into vinyl. Music touches my mind and heart in a way that nothing else can.

Today, my iTunes library comprises nearly 6000 songs (all legal), and it continues to grow as I come across new artists. Below, I've selected a few artists / albums that I think are particularly interesting / talented / obscure…

I hope you find something wonderful among these two dozen artists — something that inspires or delights you. Please let me know if you do.

And that's today's good report: music I love.

This post is part of a week-long series focusing on the good and praiseworthy in my life… please consider reading all seven: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.

Of Good Report, 5 | Flowers

2008-07-25T22:46:00.005-06:00

Flowers. I meant to run over to Roots today, but got distracted. I'll have to stop in tomorrow, after Farmers Market.

I've always had a soft spot in my heart for flowers… my childhood home had flower beds galore, and my (extremely) sensitive nose continues to find respite in their heady, organic scents. So I take the time to have cut flowers in my home. When I'm on a roll, I'll have fresh arrangements every other week (less frequently when I can pull long-lasting blooms from a wilting arrangement and repurpose them)… when I'm off my game, it's every other month. And it's worth the effort. The small bundles of beauty moderate my moods and bring sparkle to my home life… well worth the "pizza money" I'm foregoing.

I guess it's a matter of priorities. I spend money on things that are important to me: flowers, a maid, long-lasting shoes, books, my friends, and philanthropy. And I'm unapologetic. I've heard it said that one of the best tools for teaching our children what they should value is by our example in the management of our discretionary funds. If I had children, I'd be proud to let have them walk with me across the park to the little brick flower shop… they'd get a handful of Skittles from the candy jar on the counter while we waited for Rachel or one of her gals to work a little magic. Then we'd bounce back across the street with a fresh arrangement for our home.

* sigh *

Yeah… I'm definitely getting some flowers tomorrow.

Flowers are definitely something of good report.

This post is part of a week-long series focusing on the good and praiseworthy in my life… please consider reading all seven: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.

Of Good Report, 4 | Downtown Living

2008-07-24T22:57:00.008-06:00

I love living downtown. I love that my grocer, my baker, my florist, the fish monger, and the guys at the deli all know my name. That they notice when I've been away. I've said it before: living downtown in more like living in a small town than living in the wastelands of suburbia ever could be. And it's not just my neighbors that I love … I love my home (photos). All 576 square feet of it. It's mine — every inch. Sure, it would easily fit in many of y'alls living rooms. But it's all the space I need. I won't lie: I've thought about buying the unit next door, and combining the two (1100 square feet! woot!) … but the thought seldom lasts. What would I do with all that space? No… I think I'll keep it right where it is.

Living small is where it's at. It forces you to edit … to focus on what delivers, on what's worth the effort — the room! It fosters creativity. Necessity being the mother of invention, and all.

Anyway, that's today's good report: living small is where it's at!

This post is part of a week-long series focusing on the good and praiseworthy in my life… please consider reading all seven: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.

Of Good Report, 3 | Friends

2008-07-24T01:26:00.006-06:00

Today was a good day — a really good day, actually — as it was punctuated by two friendly outtings. At lunch, a bunch of us from work got together at Takashi to celebrate the birthday of one our team members, Doug. Doug is a good friend… and he and his wife (and their dog) are a cherished part of my life. Then, this evening, Apcar (who's "baching it" tonight while his wife pulls an all-nighter at the hospital) and I drove around town, checking out a couple stores featured in Salt Lake magazine's "Best of the Beehive" (NPS Store? … AMAZING!!!). After which, he and I headed over to my new favorite eating establishment south of the border (Salt Lake's border with I-80, to be specific).

It was the perfect cap to a nearly perfect day… and I owe it all to the friends I've made with people who have fallen into my life like pennies from heaven. My life is richer and more meaningful (not to mention more fun!) with people in my life who love and suffer me.

It would appear, at least for now, that I am not (contrary to recent news stories) insufferable.

And that's today's good report.

This post is part of a week-long series focusing on the good and praiseworthy in my life… please consider reading all seven: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.

Of Good Report, 2 | Lone Star Taqueria

2008-07-22T22:24:00.008-06:00

Preparing a meal is a magical act… and this is because food is a perfect conductor of both love and neglect. That is why it's such a delight to find a restaurant that conveys love and not neglect. Lone Star Taqueria is one such place…

I discovered the taqueria via the ever-useful, always charming blog Your Heart Out, who mentioned the shop this afternoon — just as I was leaving the office, and most susceptible to talk of food. So it's no surprise that I soon found myself in Fort Union (of all places!), on the hunt for a fresh food find.

You can do it, to, of course… they're easy to find:

Lone Star Taqueria
2265 Fort Union Blvd.
Cottonwood Heights, Utah
(801) 944-2300

The food is delightful… flavorful without being bald, subtle without being bland. The service is quick and chipper. The menu has English translations. And the ambiance is 100% authentic fun — not to be confused with places where the minions wear "flair".

And there you go: today's good report.

Psst… check out my photos from my maiden voyage!

This post is part of a week-long series focusing on the good and praiseworthy in my life… please consider reading all seven: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.

Of Good Report, 1 | Fablehaven

2008-07-21T23:25:00.008-06:00

So when CJane posted a series of posts highlighting the good and praiseworthy in her life (starting here), I was inspired to christen it a meme — and to join in the fun. Based loosely on the 13th article of our faith, her posts encouraged us all to dwell — even for only a short while — on the beautiful. So I decided to follow suit…

Tonight, I'd like to post about the Fablehaven books for young adults. It's not world peace or a cure for cancer… but good stories — especially good stories for children — can inspire the next generation. And I've found the Fablehaven books to be remarkable.

I had seen the books a few times, but their covers (a little too… much) didn't really invite a closer look. And then, out of the blue, I connected with a friend from college… Brandon Mull. "So, Brandon", I asked: "what's going on in your life?" … "Oh, I'm writing! Like I've always wanted" … "Writing? Does that treat you well?" … "Well, I've got a couple of books that have been on the New York Times Bestseller list".

And that's when I decided to read Fablehaven.

I was a little apprehensive, really… what if I didn't like them? What would I say to Brandon? But, as luck would have it, I needn't have worried. The stories are engaging; the prose is tight, well-edited, and doesn't shy away from the occasional 25¢ word; the characters are multi-dimensional; and there are consequenses to poor decisions… not to put too fine a point on it, they are solid contenders for Harry Potter's crown. Solid.

So that, my friends, is today's good report.

This post is part of a week-long series focusing on the good and praiseworthy in my life… please consider reading all seven: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.

Last Year I Killed a Man

2008-07-21T07:56:00.004-06:00

From the Guardian…

At 9.45am on Saturday, June 23 2007, I killed a man. A perfectly ordinary man, on a perfectly ordinary summer's day. CCTV pictures show him entering the station, unremarkable among all the passengers going to the West End. He waited at the front of the platform until he could hear my train approaching, then he calmly stepped down on to the tracks and looked directly at me as he waited for the impact.

Please read the entire article

Again I am reminded: suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Blog Aggregators & the Dynamic Gospel

2008-07-16T00:18:00.003-06:00

The brouhaha ( I, II, III, IV ) over J. Max Wilson's recent expulsion from the Mormon Archipelago — and Wilson's decision to start an aggregator of his own (which, presumably, won't send him packing) got me to thinking…

What kind of role do these Mormon blog aggregators play in the dynamic gospel?

Oh… you've never heard of the dynamic gospel? My apologies. It's a personal theory that I've yet to fully flesh-out. But, in broad strokes, it posits a couple of things:

The first is that just as individuals may grow closer to God in both understanding and comportment, His church does as well. This shouldn't be a ground-breaking idea. We've all thrown out the phrase "line upon line, precept upon precept". Now whether we actually believe the church progresses from vaguaries and innacuracies towards clarity and Truth™ is an entirely different matter… but surely you've used the phrase. Were we to graph this progression, we'd see a line that moved like the graph of a stock exchange… and were we to zoom in, closely, we'd see that the line was comprised of myriad lines — each with their own paths. Unlike a stock exchange, however, the moving averages are always positive — we are, inexoribly, working our way towards God. And this, I believe, is the truth behind Wilford Woodruff's sentiment found in Official Declaration 1, that "[t]he Lord will never permit me or any other man who stands as President of this Church to lead you astray".

The second is that in deciding what they do or do not believe, members of the Church must contend with a number of factors: the canon of the Church; the words of the prophets; the whisperings of the Spirit; and Church policy… and each of these must be weighed against both a personal and corporate ( I can't think of a better term for the Body of Christ ) understanding of what they each mean. Each of these factors acts as a dampening agent against both true inspiration and counterfeit — slowing and enabling the progress of the Church, simultaneously.

The third is that this slow and deliberate process brings notions to the surface quietly, most times. Bubbling, as they do, to the surface of the group's consciousness… ideas of little value disappear over time, while Truth™ (or a semblance of it) remains.

So what does this have to do with aggregators? At its root, this process of percolation is about memory… what remains, after time, survives to join the Gospel. It's mainstreamed through the nurturing and care of the members of the Body of Christ. Like sleepwalking stewards, we slowly (slowly!) clean the Lord's vineyard. And memory is very much determined by writing… the Canon is entirely written — it is scripture; the words of the prophets are also entirely written; if we follow the words of the prophets and keep jounals, then the whisperings of the Spirit are also written; and, finally, Church policy is almost entirely written.

Unlike personal or even organizational libraries, digital libraries are "easy" to search and diseminate… as such, their reach is both broader and deeper. Never before has so much been so easily accessible. Aggregators — especially those that purport to speak for the Bloggernacle or Mainstream Mormonism play a role in dictating what people read… and, in turn, what people remember. This will, undoubtedly, have an affect upon the process described above. But to what extent, I do not know.

This conversation is part of a larger one, I think. One about Correlation, one about the Church's online tools, one about the PR efforts of the Church… each facet playing into the larger process of memory and acceptance… and our eventual arrival at a true understanding of the mind and heart of God.

So there you go… I've set the stage for a discussion… here's my question again: what kind of role do Mormon blog aggregators play in the dynamic gospel?

NB: This post is cross-posted from Nine Moons: Blog Aggregators & the Dynamic Gospel, please join us over there to comment!

Best Wedding Toast Ever!

2008-05-11T19:26:00.001-06:00

Okay… I can't resist another video post.

Best Wedding Toast Ever!!!! (Amy's Song) - The most amazing videos are a click away

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger… Videos

2008-05-04T19:05:00.004-06:00

So I'm online some 12 hours a workday, so you shouldn't be surprised that I see more than my fair share of videos… and it's always fun when you see a trend develop.

Let's first start with the song: Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger (iTunes), by Daft Punk.

I first heard the song last year I think, on a video put out by a French inventor:

But the real fun started, I believe, when a couple of girls decided to be living lyrics:

… and then a couple guys responded:

… of course the Simpsons picked it up:

… but I think these two killed it off, well-and-good:

Only to have these two kids breathed new life into it:

It's kind of gone full circle.

Kinda.

Oh La La!

2008-03-21T20:39:00.005-06:00

The old girl is turning 120… and it looks like she's going to get a new outfit for the party!

UPDATE: Sadly, it was a hoax.

Oh Danny Boy.

2008-03-17T21:26:00.001-06:00

I nearly shat myself laughing.

Of Prophets & Patriarchs

2008-03-02T10:25:00.000-07:00

This post has been buzzing around my head for about a month, now. But I wanted it to be “just so”, and so it just languished there. It languished, that is, until I decided to keep it short and sweet.

About a month ago, a friend asked me whether my patriarchal blessing mentioned a wife. I told him it did, and that it promised that she would bring into my life children… so he asked whether I believed that. I suggested that the blessing could be interpreted to mean a wife and children in the next life or — and here is where I stumbled — that the Patriarch was simply mistaken.

It’s odd, really… I’m comfortable with our dear and inspired prophet being mistaken from time to time — in the truth of our faith being both a personal and institutional journey towards God. Yet I wasn’t at all comfortable with the notion that patriarchs could miss the mark. We hold our patriarchal blessings in such high esteem. Could I possibly think for a moment even that mine wasn’t made to order, a veritable blueprint?

What do you think? Do we hold patriarchal blessings in such high esteem—higher, even, than our prophets? And if so, should we?

NB: This post is cross-posted from Nine Moons: Of Prophets & Patriarchs, please join us over there to comment!

A Gay Mormon Thanks President Hinckley

2008-02-11T07:45:00.001-07:00

This morning, I came across a post at Ex-gay Watch (hat-tip: Northern Lights) that mentioned the passing of President Hinckley. Several dozen comments followed, including one commenter who wished President Hinckley “good riddance”.

I replied, of course, at length… but the salient part of my comment was this:

My own life [out, celibate, and active] very much reflects the positive influence that President Hickley had on the Church in this area, and I don’t wish him good riddance, but happy trails and fond reunions with his wife and parents.

It’s true, really. In the last 15 years, the strides made by the Church with regards to embracing its gay members have been marked. And for that (among many things), I can’t thank President Hinckley enough.

NB: This post is cross-posted from Nine Moons: A Gay Mormon Thanks President Hinckley, please join us over there to comment!

I Voted!

2008-02-05T09:38:00.001-07:00

Okay, folks... time to belly-up to the bar. Time to be heard... to do your civic duty. Time to vote.

Yes We Can

2008-02-04T17:15:00.000-07:00

Please watch:

http://www.dipdive.com/

Then, tomorrow (Tuesday), please vote.

If you're in Salt Lake County, you can find your polling place, here:

https://secure.slco.org/cl/elections/index.cfm

2007: My Year in Blogging

2008-01-01T10:00:00.000-07:00

I've got some time to spare before football really gets going, so I thought I'd look through my Google Analytics reports for the blog. And what kind of blogger would I be if I didn't then share what I found?

How People Found Me

About 45% came to me via a search engine.
About 40% via a link on some web site or other.
About 15% came directly — probably from typing in my address or clicking on a saved bookmark.

On the search engine front, there were a couple prevailing themes (in no particular order):

filler text
fonts (especially the Stephanie Marie Font)
worries about a child being gay
sermons on prayer
poems about grandpas
the consultant joke

And though it didn't rank very high, about 20 of you came here looking for information about "mormon wedding night". I'm not entirely sure what to think of this, and I'm not sure I want to.

Who These Folks Are

Over the last year, I had visitors from 108 countries (inasmuch as it's possible to discern):

United States, 76.66%
United Kingdom, 4.90%
Canada, 4.41%
Australia, 1.79%
China, 1.14%
Germany, 0.95%
India, 0.85%
Ireland, 0.80%
France, 0.65%
Netherlands, 0.65%

Put another way:

Americas, 81.95%
Europe, 11.51%
Asia, 4.16%
Oceania, 1.98%
Africa, 0.31%
Unknown, 0.08%

And, finally, language:

English, 94.19%
Mandarin, 1.12%
German, 1.07%
French, 0.69%
Spanish, 0.61%

Link Love

It shouldn't surprise you that most of the incoming links I get are from other blogs or blog aggregators. Here are my top 10:

Blogger (Not Including Individual Blogs)
Ardent Mormon
Northern Lights
Adam & Andi
Mormon Enigma
Web Graphics
Nine Moons
LDSelect
Steve & Callie
Gary & Bridgette

This blog wouldn't be the same without the incoming links and the traffic they bring… so thank you, everyone, for linking!

What They Found When They Got Here

So let's first look at a few trends…

A full 42% of the traffic on my site is to my home page. Which makes sense — it's the home page. It's what people bookmark. And for regular readers who don't subscribe to my feed, it's the easiest way to see what's new.

Once here, a lot of you click on the topics links. In fact 17% of my site traffic is concentrated among the topics pages. The most popular topics, by far, were "gay", "mormon", "friends", "fonts", "steampunk", and "food".

A whole 1% of you use the built-in search at the top of the page to look around the site.

One surprising trend was how popular all of my content is — not just my newer posts. So (not counting posts which showed-up as part of a topics search or the posts which are read when they're on the home page) 46% of the individual posts viewed were from this year, 22% from 2006, and 32% were from 2005.

What were my most popular posts this year?

A couple others come in near the top:

What I Wish They Had Found

Of all the content on my site, there are a few that I consider special — either because I thought it was a particularly good piece of writing, or because I thought the subject was somehow noteworthy.

Here are my favorites from this year:

And my favorites from years past:

Meme: My Last Day
Mormon Rhythms Series (I, II, III)

So there you go… a little bit about my year in blogging.

Happy New Year!

A Very Waxy Christmas

2007-12-13T19:25:00.000-07:00

I'm mentioned before that I love Christmas music — and have some 900 songs in my holiday library. Well, I just found 78 new ones.

Or, perhaps I should say "not so new" ones.

Paul, over at Paul's Ramblings, has a couple posts where he's collected a treasure trove of Christmas music from the early 1900s — all captured from wax phonograph cylinders:

Vintage Christmas Wax Parts I, II, III, IV, V (2006)
Vintage Christmas Wax: Revisited (2007)

Way cool.

Go! Download! Enjoy!

Portrait of the Artist as a Pseudonym

2007-12-10T17:26:00.000-07:00

I've posted online under the "Silus Grok" pseudonym for years and years — and will likely continue to do so indefinitely. But a couple months ago, I started to think about getting a "self portrait" done, in order to flesh-out (so to speak) my online brand. And that's when I had the pleasure of making the acquaintance of a talented illustrator by the name of Jesse Ewing.

He and I have had fun over the last month going back and forth as the project progressed (see how it all came together in a Flickr set I've created for the portrait). And the final was just what I had hoped for!

And for the record: No. It doesn't look like the flesh-and-blood me — what use would a pseudonym be if I slapped it on a picture of me? Besides, I've always loved playing dress-up… and this is almost as fun.

What Is Modesty, Really?

2007-12-09T22:31:00.000-07:00

I think we understand what the standards of modesty are in the church. Cover your garment if you where one or dress like you wear one if you hope to some day. And when modesty is discussed at a BYU campus, it's almost entirely framed within the context of the Honor Code — and the Honor Code Office's delightful, quirky, and just a little creepy advertising.

But what is modesty? What are we trying to achieve?

It can't just be about dress and appearance, can it? Sure it's hard to not dress your daughter like a floozie — but is that the length and width of the issue? Aren't we really just picking at the surface of a higher law — a body ethic?

What might that ethic include — what would it look like, how might it behave? And what would its scriptural underpinnings be — or would it come from somewhere else?

NB: This post is cross-posted from Nine Moons: What Is Modesty, Really, please join us over there to comment!

Meme: Let's Talk Missions

2007-11-19T18:54:00.000-07:00

So I came across the missionary meme over at Connor Boyack's blog.

Here's the gist:

Answer Three Questions
Ask Someone the Golden Question, then Return & Report
Tag Someone

The Three Questions

Did you serve a mission, and where? — Yes, I did. I served in the Canada Montréal Mission from 1990 – 1992.

What was your best missionary experience? — My favorite? Wow. That's a tough one. When I think of my mission, I realize that I did a lot of good work, but my memories are largely of places and people, not events. But a couple of memories swim to the top: one was of me sitting in a burka lounger in the home of a long-time investigator. She had been kind enough to feed us that evening, and a snow storm was pretty much keeping us off the roads. My companion was on the couch or something, but had zonked-out (that guy could sleep anywhere). So it was just she and I chatting about the gospel, about her life, and about context. How it all fit together. The snow was falling outside, and it was just she, me, and the Spirit.

Many months later, not long after I returned home, I received a letter from the mission office informing me that she had been baptized. I wept with joy. I still weep with joy whenever I think of it.

Who is the most missionary-oriented leader you have ever had? — This is a really odd question. I don't quite get its purpose. But the first person I thought of was my trainer. He was a hard (and smart!) worker, yet hadn't seen much in the way of numerical success during his time in the field. But his testimony of the work was evident in everything he did. Especially how he loved me. He was missionary-oriented. He was me-oriented. I was a better missionary and am a better person because of his love and guidance.

The Golden Question

Sorry, folks. I leave the Golden Questions to the full-time missionaries. But I still have the missionary spirit, and love to share my testimony — here on my blog; in my dealings with members of the Church; and with the people whom the Lord's placed in my path. But in every instance, it's an organic expression of faith that is both time- and place-appropriate. So I'm going to take a pass on this 'un.

Tagging

If you're reading this, you're tagged.

Meme: Getting to Know You

2007-11-15T15:40:00.001-07:00

Annegb, in a post at Mormon Mentality, asked everyone to answer a few questions… so I did:

How did you come by your handle? — "Silus" is a variant of the Biblical name "Silas"; "Grok" means "to understand fully or completely", and is used in the software world. I wanted to pay homage to my own religious surname, and my deep-seated desire to understand.
How did you find the bloggernacle, what drew you to blogging? — I came across a post at Times & Seasons years ago, and I've enjoyed it immensely. I've been moved to tears many times, and have learned much. I've even had my mind changed on a number of fronts.
Where were you born, are you LDS, were you raised in the church, how do you characterize yourself? — I was born Spokane, Washington. I grew-up in a home, and not in the Church. And while I attended Church with my sister from the get-go, I wasn't allowed to join until I was 8. My family, however, is not LDS. I consider myself to be a faithful latter-day saint (though others probably disagree).
Do you have a college degree? — I attended BYU for four years, but fell-in with a bad crowd towards the end and co-founded a software company. I didn't finish my degree… but had I, it would likely have been in Political Science with a minor in one of the languages I've studied (French, Mandarin, Danish).
Are you married? Kids? — Single. No children.
Where do you live? — I live in Salt Lake City, just four blocks from the Temple in a loft overlooking Pioneer Park.
Favorite:
- Food — my favorite thing to eat is chili with lots of saltine crackers. My favorite thing to cook is roasted, brined pork chop served on savory French toast and topped with a sweet onion chutney (recipe).
- Color — orange, though red comes in a very close second.
- Movie — Phenomenon, Sixth Sense, Swing Kids, Twelve Angry Men, Charade, Lord of the Rings… ad nauseum.
- Book — Gaia, Seeds of Change, anything by Wendell Berry or Neil Postman, Blankets, The Naked Ape, Lord of the Rings, This Time of Darkness… ad nauseum.
- TV show — Heroes.
- Blog — mine.
What is your most embarrassing moment? — I was about 14 or so and on a camping trip with the scouts, and we were encamped by a river. I decided I wanted to go skinny-dipping, so I snuck-off to find a nice place on the river for a dip. I found a place that looked good, dropped trou, and walked into the river… but it never deepened. I was out in the middle of the river when I heard guys from the troop approaching so I ran back to shore and got dressed. No one caught me, but I was still absolutely abashed.
What's your pet peeve? — drivers who tailgate and people who talk on their mobiles in public — especially those that use their mobiles while going through check-out stands.

And what about you?

The Unkindest Cut

2007-11-12T21:31:00.001-07:00

It's not exactly like being stabbed by your best friend — but male circumcision isn't far off.

Practiced for millennia among the children of Abraham as a religious rite, male circumcision is, today, wide-spread in the US as a pseudo-medical procedure. But it's coming under renewed scrutiny as a rising generation begin to wonder what they've been missing (I, II, III). And while the issue is certainly divisive among lay-people, it's also a point of contention among medical professionals.

The controversy isn't new, of course… the apostle Paul had a run-in on the matter.

So. Here's the question: if you had a son today, would you circumcise him? Is there a religious component to your decision — or is it merely medical or cosmetic? I'd especially like to hear from our non-US readers, who (if they circumcise), are likely a minority in their countries.

NB: This entry is cross-posted from Nine Moons: The Unkindest Cut, please join us over there to comment!

Race Against Dallas

2007-11-12T08:00:00.000-07:00

So, it looks like my buddy (and neighbor) Dallas is going to redecorate his condo. And he's on-track to starting and finishing the project before Christmas.

We'll see how that goes…

But it's lit a fire under me.

You see, I've lived here for two years, slowly (glacially, really) getting my place to a point where I could have an open house. My big hang-up right now is finding someone who can build a small wall (know anyone that fits the bill? let me know!). I'm in a race, now. I'm aiming to have my open house the same time Dallas has his re-open house.

Anyway… I wanted to — in the spirit of friendly competition — let everyone know that Dallas is having a garage sale. Online.

Domo Arigato Mr Roboto

2007-11-09T16:52:00.000-07:00

The video speaks for itself…

An Entirely Different Campaign

2007-11-06T14:06:00.000-07:00

Today is Election Day in the US… but instead of calling you to action, or reminding you of the prophetic guidelines found in D&C 134, I'd like to discuss a campaign of an entirely different stripe: an advertising campaign — for the Church.

The campaign, entitled Truth Restored, is described thusly in a press release:

[The church,] known in the past 30 years for its cutting-edge public service ads on the family has now redefined ways to share its message in a major multimedia campaign.
In ads being run in three test areas throughout the United States, recent converts to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints share their experiences unscripted and in their own words.

The campaign is decidedly different from the (effective) schmaltz of earlier campaigns. Its tenor and approach is documentary, and the players come from diverse racial and socio-economic backgrounds (also in stark contrast to other campaigns).

In this billboard (one of several) , the typography is definitely "mormon", but the lighting and framing of the family is light and airy — very modern. And note the use of mormon.org.

The campaign also features a number of video spots that are optimized for both television viewing and web site embeds, à la YouTube (I, II).

This is an exciting new direction for the Church, and it's great to see them capitalizing on the their experience with the web. But what are your thoughts? On their design, the concept, the campaign in general… Would you consider embedding one of these videos in your personal web site?

NB: This entry is cross-posted from Nine Moons: An Entirely Different Campaign, please join us over there to comment!

Utah Code Camp Tomorrow

2007-11-02T15:39:00.000-06:00

So here's a quick announcement for all my coding friends… just heard about tomorrow's Utah Code Camp, in South Jordan at Neumont University. See link for more details.

I Voted Early... You Should Too

2007-11-02T09:53:00.000-06:00

Here in Salt Lake county — as, I'm certain, it is in many parts of the country — it's possible to go to designated early-voter polling stations and cast your ballot. So I found out where I could vote early, and headed down and cast my ballot.

Election night (next Tuesday, November 6th) is, of course, the traditional time to vote. But why risk not voting because some emergency or other? Why fight the crowds? I voted early in the primaries... I did it again in the generals… and I'll likely vote early every chance I'm given.

So how'd I cast my ballot? Well, I spoke at-length before on the options, here's where it all fell:

Salt Lake City Mayor — I voted for Ralph Becker
Salt Lake City Council, District 4 — Luke Garrott
Vouchers — Against
Safety Department Bond — For

On the District 4 seat, I voted for change. It was a tough call, and I won't be in mourning if Nancy is reelected. On vouchers, I was only mildly against them until I went to a pro-voucher open house hosted by a dear friend. It was there that my mind was set against the whole program. I wish I weren't running out the door, or I'd spend more time on the issue. Maybe I'll revisit it tonight.

So there you go: I voted early, and you should too!

Today's the last day for early voting in Salt Lake county, but your own locality may be different.

The Deer Passed Away

2007-10-22T23:20:00.000-06:00

So there's a great post over at By Common Consent about the BYU Police Blotter… my favorite is this one:

A deer was hit by a vehicle on Ninth East on the south end of Kimball Hall. Police responded and reported that the deer passed away.

I'm Lunatic!

2007-10-18T22:40:00.000-06:00

I've been invited to become a permanent contributor over at Nine Moons! I've guest-blogged there a couple of times in the last year or so, and I've always enjoyed my time spent there. Now, I get to post there whenever I want! Though, truth be told, Rusty is hoping I'll post every two weeks or thereabouts. I think I can manage.

It's a real honor, as Nine Moons is a top-tier LDS group blog — and it'll be a real pleasure, as Nine Moon's readers are exceptional.

But don't worry… posting there won't really keep me away from here — so visit often! — and I'll be posting my Nine Moons missives here, albeit with the comments turned off.

So there you go… a red-letter day!

* howls *

Zip It!

2007-10-17T23:34:00.000-06:00

Ever wanted to get to know your neighborhood better? I mean really really well? I did... so I typed my zip code into a form over at ZIPskinny, and got an eye full.

How does your ZIP measure up?

Go Wild!

2007-10-16T09:01:00.000-06:00

The Wildlife Conservation Society — who own and operate New York City's zoos and aquarium — are hoping to capitalize on the avatar craze in its outreach efforts. Yes, it's a bald marketing gimmick… but it's a fun, bald, marketing gimmick.

So what are you waiting for? Build your wild self!

Zappos Is a Service Company…

2007-10-15T23:09:00.000-06:00

… that happens to sell shoes. It says so — right there on their home page. But you'd think it was just hype until you read an amazing customer story like this.

National Coming-out Day

2007-10-11T22:58:00.000-06:00

I first admitted to myself that I was gay — and not that I just dug guys — when I was 23. I had returned from serving a full-time mission to Montréal Canada for the Church and had been at BYU for just over a year. It was late at night, and I and a friend were up into the wee hours chatting about all sorts of things when, from nowhere, he asked if I were gay. I paused... groped for an answer... then stuttered "yes". And from there began my inexorable journey to full disclosure. Today, I am out to any who care to know. I don't announce it from the rooftops, but if the topic of dating or the like comes up, my being gay will likely come up. All my coworkers and neighbors know... my mom and siblings know... my friends in my ward know, as do countless others.

It wasn't always like that, though. In junior and senior high school, I knew I dug guys, but never considered myself gay because everyone knew that gay men were pedophiles and wore leather. So how could I be gay? On my mission, I'm guessing everyone but me knew... but no one ever said anything. And then it all changed that one night over at Don's place. The next morning — Sunday — I went and spoke to my bishop, confiding in him, and he thanked me. He was especially grateful because Adam, my house- and room-mate, had come to him earlier that week begging for help, as he was convinced that I had a crush on him (I did), and my bishop had no idea how to breach the subject.

Hehe.

A little over ten years have passed since then... and I am no longer weighed-down by that secret, but instead live life with confidence — and even, sometimes, with grace.

I'm thankful to the friend who asked — but even more so to my Father in Heaven and my Savior, Jesus Christ, who have comforted and guided me my whole life, and in whom I have an abiding faith.

So there you go: my coming-out story... and a testimony.

For me, they go hand in hand.

I Think My Son May Be Gay

2007-10-06T22:50:00.000-06:00

Recently, I received a letter from a mother. She recalled finding some questionable (though largely innocent) Google searches in her home computer's history. She and her husband talked to each of their children, their son tearfully confessed that they were his. She and her husband begged him to come to them if he had such questions in the future. A little while later, she found a few more searches of a more graphic nature. She then spoke about other things in his life that led her to believe that he might be questioning his sexuality. She apologized profusely but asked what advice I might offer.

After struggling for a few days with what to say, I finally sat-down late one evening to write. Four hours, 2000 words, and a few prayers later, I was done. With her permission, I share the letter with you, hoping that others might benefit.

Good evening.

I must admit to being both flattered and utterly overwhelmed by your request. But I will tackle it as best I can... I do pray that there is value in my response, and that the Spirit improves upon it.

I apologize in advance for being pedantic — it's because I don't know anything about you or your family dynamic. I don't know whether you're a good mother (though I imagine you are) or whether your husband is a good father (though I imagine he is). I pray that both of you are kind, supportive, and loving parents... that you show your love, to borrow from the hymn, in both word and deed, and that your children know that they are loved and appreciate what a precious gift that is. I also apologize for stating the obvious... and for addressing issues of sex and sexuality in a frank manner.

So. Let's dig in...

Boys of all ages are curious creatures. They are curious about the world around them, and — perhaps more-so — about their own bodies in all their messy glory. Penises, farts, mouths, fingers, eyes, boogers — all are sources of endless wonder — much to the astonishment of dads (who often forget what being a boy is all about) and moms (who can barely handle their husbands' muted fascination with all things scatological). Your son, whom I'll call Forrest (one of my all-time favorite boy names), is probably no different... I would encourage you to leave room in your heart and mind for the very real chance that the online forays were nothing more than internet-enabled efforts to sate an insatiable curiosity.

That being said, the internet is not a wise place to go hunting for innocent information on sex or the body. There are just too many poisonous sites out there. And inasmuch as you will not likely curb his curiosity any time soon, I would strongly suggest purchasing filtering and notification software. I co-founded a software company that designed such software — but that was years ago, and I don't know what the state of the industry is these days. If you can, I would look for software that uses white lists, watch words, black lists, and human intelligence to filter. Use software that can send parents information of attempts at accessing blocked information by account holders — preferably with each user having their own private account. Finally, computer(s) should be in public areas in the home. No filter is perfect, and having bodies around when you're surfing is a good deterrent. Do the children have individual accounts on the computer? Barring the purchase of filtering software, I would encourage you at the very least to give each child their own account — so you can more accurately assess and address problems.

The fact that you found additional sites upon further inspection, and that these sites were of a decidedly more graphic nature, is not encouraging — but I remind you again that these additional sites may also be nothing more than (inappropriate) curiosity. I would also submit that the first set and the second set of traces may not be from the same individual.

So let's move-on, and — for the sake of discussion — let's assume that Forrest is responsible for all the questionable internet surfing. Let's also assume that he is, at the very least, questioning his own sexuality.

I don't envy him...

Humans are pack animals — it's in our genes — and we will go to great lengths to ensure that our packs are filled with fellows of a like mind. And children — who have yet to fully develop higher brain functions associated with logic and consequence appreciation — are very effective at singling-out the odd birds. Sometimes it's a cold shoulder... sometimes it's verbal... and sometimes it's physical. The primal urges that incite these reactions are the same ones that scream to us: don't stand out! don't be different! Forrest isn't being difficult — he's just doing what he thinks is essential to survive in the pack at school, the pack at church, and the one at home.

Only sweeping changes in social norms will effect change in the school pack... but you can effect change in the church and — to a much greater degree — home packs.

On the church front, I would — carefully, and hopefully under the influence of the Spirit — share with ward and auxiliary leaders that you have suspicions that a number of the children in your ward may be questioning their orientation. Refuse to give specifics, but suggest that making the ward as safe as possible for questioning youth to come to their leaders should be a high priority — because children need to be safe to speak about what's in their hearts and minds if parents and leaders are ever going to be effective in their callings as educators and exemplars.

At home, I would take certain steps to make certain that the language used — especially by yourself and your husband — reinforces a supportive environment. That means that "gay" can't be a slur or a synonym for "stupid" or "worthless"; it means that "faggot" or "fag" are never ever used. It also means avoiding pet names for human sexuality or the body — a practice that reinforces the idea that sexuality and our bodies are something to hate, shun, or fear. Fear stifles communication and distorts understanding; fear is the enemy of truth and light.

Forrest is likely to wonder whether he would be disowned or thrown out of the house if you perceived that he was gay. I would make certain through oblique and direct reference that he understands that he will always have a home with you and that you think parents who do such things are monsters — or, at the very least, horribly horribly misguided. This isn't as hard as you might think — our society is currently enthralled by all things gay, and commenting on stories you see in a way that conveys the message of unconditional love should be fairly straight-forward.

Forrest, I imagine, is pretty bright. He'll probably see right through your efforts.

And that's okay.

Kids get a kick out of parents being oblique, because it makes the children feel smart and insightful... and as long as your efforts are not hypocritical or seen as self-serving, you'll likely experience success.

Of course, it can't be all gay all the time, because that will wear both you and the children out... instead, this effort should be part of a new commitment to open communication in your family. I'm certain you can think of other issues that could use a little daylight — both positive and problematic.

So we've assumed that Forrest is questioning his orientation... now let's assume that he's confided in you.

What next?

He should know that you won't keep secrets from your spouse. If he tells you first, you should offer to tell his father.

Now this is where it becomes a little tricky: orientation is a complex creature, and because he's young, and because his self-perception is based on incomplete data, he should be given as much room as possible to be straight. If there is any chance that he can live as a healthy and honest straight man, that should be fostered. Fostered — but in a way that doesn't discount his eternal value based of his final orientation. With this in mind, there are the very real consequences in whom he choses to tell: the likelihood that most people — especially his peers — will differentiate between "I think I might be gay" and "I'm gay" is low. Which means that the reaction he will likely get will based on the latter, rather than the former. Depending on their upbringing, their maturity, and their personal experiences, those whom he tells will react differently — but all of their reactions will likely be towards Forrest as a gay youth. People unfriendly towards gays will be provoked and people friendly towards gays will be encouraging. Neither reaction is what you want, as neither reaction will give Forrest the space he needs to come to his own conclusions. To this end, Forrest should be encouraged to keep the matter to himself. How you do that, though, may make all the difference in how he perceives the request.

So you know and your husband knows. You should find out who else knows and prayerfully consider whom else to tell — with Forrest being the final arbiter on any further disclosure. Should your bishop know? Maybe. What about his scout master? Probably not. In the end, you want adults to know who are discrete and supportive of this enlightened version of the wait-and-see approach — but only if they bring real value to the table.

You should also make certain that your interactions with him don't change markedly. He's still the same boy he was a week ago. Balance this, of course, with his need for you to talk about it. Too many parents show that "it's no big deal" by never raising the subject again — which is sure to signal rejection to the child.

Children need to talk things through in order to understand them... and so do parents!

: )

Now that you know, it would be good to join — quietly, perhaps — a group of parents dealing with similar issues. In Utah, the Family Fellowship is the place to go. I know the founders... I also know the current leaders, Gary and Millie Watts, and they are an amazing couple. They, and the other parents in the group, will prove to be a wonderful resource for you and your husband. Here's their contact information:

http://www.ldsfamilyfellowship.org/

When Forrest returns from his mission, you should revisit where he's at with his orientation. For the sake of further discussion, let's assume he has come to the conclusion that he's gay.

Ask when he plans on telling his siblings and extended family — and offer to help. Let him know that you hope he will carefully come to full disclosure. Disclosure is important, but needs to be done on his terms. There is no reason to force the issue, and he should know that you have his back completely on this. If there are potential problem areas that you can foresee, share these. Secrets canker the soul and destroy relationships... but the truth also has consequences — often unforeseen.

I think this is far enough for our scenario... I do hope, though, that should he choose to date, that you would include his dates in your family life as much as you would any of your other children's dates. Beyond that, well... let's cross that road when we get there. This e-mail is already very long.

---

Some miscellaneous advice:

His Relations with Other Boys — The boy/boy dynamic is hard enough between straight boys, but will be put to the test should Forrest start questioning his orientation. He should be taught to respect other boys' boundaries, but to otherwise not obsess about all the what-ifs... and he should be encouraged to develop a sense of humor to defray awkward situations. The locker room, sleep-overs, group dates, and the like will all pose interesting challenges. With some guidance from you and the Spirit, he'll likely come through all of these with a better understanding of people, a deeper appreciation of our differences, and a few funny stories.

Masturbation — Forrest likely masturbates. He also probably fantasizes about others when he does. He's certain to feel guilty about it, and will likely think that masturbation is a sign that he's gay. Since most boys masturbate, this doesn't make sense — but Forrest probably thinks that he's the only one that does it.

This is probably not a conversation you should have with Forrest. This is definitely dad's area. Might I suggest, though, that he treat masturbation and fantasizing as two different issues? Despite its sexual nature, I would encourage you to treat masturbation as a matter of self control, and not perversion. I've heard parents talk of masturbation like it was actually fornication (or worse) — and that doesn't do anyone any good.

On the fantasy front, I've found it helpful to talk through how fantasizing about people objectifies them — makes them less than children of God... And that fantasies, even though they are private, change the way we interact with people in real life.

This is also a good time to talk about wet dreams. Chances are high that he's having wet dreams — especially if he's not masturbating. The body has to dispose of the copious amounts of semen it creates, and wet dreams are one of the most efficient ways of doing it. Recent studies suggests that some wet dreams are after-the-fact — that men ejaculate before having the explanatory dream. This is useful for young men to know, to curb the desire to fantasize themselves into a wet dream and to salve the guilt associated with them. Of course, this isn't always the case, and young men should be reminded that dreams are largely out of their control — but that fantasy masquerading as dreams is still fantasy.

(Good heavens! This is heavy stuff...)

Sex — Forrest is a teenager, so the chance that he's having sex is real. Forrest needs to know that oral and anal sex (whether as the penetrator or as the penetrated ) pose a high risk of sexually transmitted disease. It's hard to say "don't have sex" and "get checked for STDs" in the same sentence... but it would be tragic if a stupid decision by a teenager had lasting and irreparable consequences. It would be especially tragic if they could have been avoided by a simple and inexpensive test. The Utah AIDS Foundation is a wonderful resource on the subject of STDs — but you should know that they are a sex-positive organization. They have to be to be effective.

http://utahaids.org/

Grief & Loss — Should you learn Forrest is gay, you will not only have to deal with that, but with the loss of the dreams you had for him. Should Forrest come to that point, he, too, will have to mourn the future he will not have. Each of you should be ready to deal with that loss and the attendant mourning. But mourning the death of a lost future doesn't have to mean resenting reality. This article on the classic "five stages of grief" may prove useful:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_Stages_of_Grief

Alright... that's all for now. It's a lot longer than I had expected. I tried to be candid — I pray it's useful. I'm always, of course, available should either you or your husband have any questions.

God bless you in this journey.

The Socio-sexual Matrix… IV

2007-10-05T22:59:00.000-06:00

Mm-kay... I've updated the genitalia facet to reflect four modalities: male, female, ambiguous, and altered — altered being the new state to accommodate man's interventions. This is in preparation for a small, multi-page booklet to accompany the matrix.

NB: All drafts are available in my public Box.net folder, and other posts on the subject are (of course) available via the socio-sexual matrix topic category.

Rain Drops on Roses, Whiskers on Kittens

2007-10-04T16:14:00.000-06:00

I'm not a good photographer.

It's true.

But I take a lot of photos… my flickr account currently sports nearly 2000 of my photographs. And as we speak, a delightful young woman in the Great White North (Bountiful, UT) is digitizing a thousand photos from my youth. And while I take photos of stuff I like to see, it's rare that my photos would be worth a second look by anyone that doesn't know me.

I am, though, a damn-fine critic. I know a good photo when I see one.

But don't take my word for it. My collection of faved photos at flickr is currently topping the scales at just over 700 photos. Of course, if you have the bandwidth, the best way to view them is as a flickr slideshow. And for the attention-challenged among you, here are fifteen of my most favorite:

I II III IV V VI VII VIII IX X XI XII XIII XIV XV

Photo Credit: Pankra Studio

Heartwrenching

2007-10-02T23:18:00.000-06:00

A gift — painful and heartfelt — from Smurf Yourself.

Please read…

Lost in Milk Wood

2007-10-01T16:56:00.000-06:00

Volkswagen has launched a campaign to coincide with the debut of the new Golf — which features Richard Burton reading from Dylan Thomas' Under Milk Wood. It's called Night Driving, and the site features user-recommended night drives from around the world. I think I'm going to add a few of my own.

Hat tip: Prolific

Portraits in Nirvana

2007-09-23T13:40:00.000-06:00

Perhaps it started with that Nirvana album cover… but underwater pictures of babies seem to have captured our imagination. Now there's a company that specializes in these ethereal portraits. Urchin Rock, a UK-based agency, seems to go all-out to accommodate parents in their quest for unique portraits.

What with the baby culture we have here, in Utah, I wonder if this wouldn't be a super idea for some enterprising local photographer.

On Breaking Bread

2007-09-19T23:51:00.000-06:00

You've probably gathered by now that I'm a wee bit OCD… So it shouldn't surprise you that I've spent a considerable amount of time thinking about the "proper" way to do all sorts of things. Take, for example, the sacrament (read: communion). I've noticed that as the priesthood break the bread in preparation for blessing it, they often break it up into such small pieces that it's not longer a morsel of bread, but a large crumb. Which got me to thinking… and, well, thinking often leads to drawing…

Check-out my latest information graphic on breaking bread (with the sacrament prayers on the back).

: )

Geek-out: iPhone Ringtone Snafu Explained?

2007-09-13T09:23:00.000-06:00

Seems that the work-around (and Apple's faster-than-lightning "fix") I mentioned a few days back may have an explanation that leads to a permanent solution:

I just found YET ANOTHER way to create iTunes compatible ringtones. This method is probably the LAST WORD on this topic, because I think most other methods currently circulating around the web are somewhat more dubious and intricate (hacking).

It's not verified, so proceed with caution. I'd certainly be interested in a programmer's reaction… anyone?

I Voted Early!

2007-09-10T17:27:00.000-06:00

It's primary season across the state of Utah, and in Salt Lake City, there are two races that have my attention. Mayor and City Council District 4. Districts 2 and 6 are also open, but they're not my concern.

I've already discussed the hard time I've had choosing who'll get my vote this year… and now, well, now I've pulled the lever.

For mayor, Ralph Becker has my vote. He's a little more progressive than I am, but he's even-headed and will do (I pray) a fine job. In the end, I just couldn't get over Keith Christensen's money trail or a smattering of other issues. Buehler and Wilson never had my votes — one's too conservative and the other doesn't have the depth of experience nor the grasp of the issues needed for a mayor.

For City Council, I voted for Brian Doughty. I haven't decided whether I want him as my final vote — but I definitely want him in to stay in the running while I make up my mind. It's a hard race, really. Councilwoman Saxton lost my vote a while ago when it was made apparent that we have differing opinions on several key issues. Which leaves me with Garrott and Doughty. Luke Garrott has the chops, for certain, but he's got a rep for being caustic — and that won't fly on the council. Brian Doughty doesn't have the policy experience I'd prefer, but he's got the personal skills you just can't pick-up on the job.

So there you go.

To find out where you should be voting tomorrow, check the Salt Lake City Votes site. For other municipalities, you'll need to check with your County Clerk (PDF, sorry).

And here's a how-to site for using the state's electronic balloting machines.

UPDATE: You probably already know this, but for mayor, Becker and Buehler have moved on to the general elections... and in the 4th district, Saxton and Garrott have advanced. I'm happy to see — at least among primary voters — overwhelming support for Becker... Bewildered that Nancy did as well as she did… Sad that Brian didn't advance. He had a strong showing, though, for having no name recognition. That's little consolation, though.

The Socio-sexual Matrix: Now with Fecundity!

2007-09-08T08:48:00.000-06:00

So... part three in a continuing series of updates! With so many updates, this feels more like software than a way of capturing the vagueries of one's socio-sexual identity.

Anyway, I realized that I had failed to include facets that reflect the desire and ability one has to procreate. A deficit Which I've now rectified — with the Draft 03. There are now three closely-related facets in the "viagra blue" section: procreative capacity (can I have/make children), libido (do I want to have sex), and procreative urge — do I want to have/make children. Please note that libido and procreative urge are distinct (albeit related) facets.

More to come, I'm certain.

In the meantime, feedback is welcome!

NB: All drafts are available in my public Box.net folder, and other posts on the subject are (of course) available via the socio-sexual matrix topic category.

Tip: Make FREE Custom Ringtones for Your iPhone

2007-09-07T11:20:00.000-06:00

Okay... just read about this, and thought there were a couple of you iPhoners out there that would appreciate learning how to use iTunes 7.4 and a little file extension magic to get free ringtones. It's over at MacRumors, and I picked-up the trick from Brad at The Big Noob.

And while we're on the subject of iPhones: if you thought the phone was worth $600, then you still have all that magic + $100 store credit + early-adopter bragging rights. If you didn't think the phone was worth $600, why on earth did you buy it? Yes, the price drop was a little steep and a little early… but you knew it was coming. Quit whining.

PS... My friend T-rex posted a new iPhone dock based on the iPod Touch (here and here). He wanted me to say that "there aren't comprehensive instructions... I assume a basic level of familiarity with the hacking tools". So you've been warned.

UPDATE: iTunes 7.4.1 kills the work-around mentioned above, but there's apparently a fix for it.

Chinese Factory Worker Can't Believe the [Crap] He Makes For Americans

2007-09-04T21:25:00.000-06:00

Sure it's from The Onion... but we all know it's true. Horribly, profoundly, embarrassingly true.

Act Today: Utah Legislature Poised to Gut Animal Torture Law

2007-08-22T12:36:00.000-06:00

Today's special session of the Utah legislature features a bill that didn't pass this spring "because of time constraints" … but now may pass with its teeth removed.

Read this short Deseret News article about the animal torture legislation... Then look-up your legislators here... Then call the main Senate (538-1035) and House (538-1029) switchboards and leave a message asking that they pass the law with the first-offense felony provision in-tact.

Just did it myself. Dead simple. They'll ask for your name and phone number in addition to the message.

UPDATE: Utah Senate sent bill to committee... which means it won't be voted on until 2008. I don't know enough about the proceedings to label this move "clever" or "cowardly". The cowardly scenario is that people opposed to the bill didn't want to be seen voting against it, so delayed the vote until there was a lot more confusion. The clever scenario is that it was delayed to secure more time to get the votes needed. It's the right thing to do… so be sure to continue to hound (pun intended) your representatives on this one.

Geeking the Fed

2007-08-17T20:00:00.000-06:00

An explanation of recent Federal Reserve Bank actions that even I can understand.

So... Who Are You Voting For?

2007-08-16T09:45:00.000-06:00

It's coming up on election time in Salt Lake City — primaries are September 11th — and I'm still completely at a loss this year. Now, I'm hardly the political neophyte. I'm active in local politics and was publicist for a candidate running for the US House a while back. But this year is going to be tough for me...

The candidate pools for Mayor and for City Council District Four are — how shall I put it — uninspiring.

Now I stick by the comment I made over at Pete Ashdown's site a while back, that the caliber of candidates I see in Utah elections is — time and again — exceptional. In fact, except for the rarest of cases (Senator Chris Buttars, I'm looking at you) our elected representatives comport themselves with dignity and execute their duties with grace and skill. They are exemplars of citizen government. Now, I don't agree with all of their policies, but nor do I fear that Utah will soon become Louisiana or California. So, while I'm uninspired, I'm not exactly in sackcloth and ashes.

So what's my beef?

Let's take the Mayor's race. There are currently four viable candidates: Becker, Buhler, Christensen, and Wilson. Each are vying for office in a city whose liberal leanings have nothing on Berkeley California, but are still way left for Utah. Moreover, each must contend with Mayor Anderson's considerable (and contentious) legacy. Salt Lake City is — whether you like it or not — a profoundly different place than it was just eight years ago. And that's in large part due to Rocky's leadership and his leadership style. I don't envy the next mayor — who must rebuild the myriad bridges singed, burned, or completely incinerated by this administration… or who must attempt to own and enlarge upon the amazing greening of city government that Rocky fostered. The shoes left to fill are both large and uncomfortable.

Ralph Becker — Ralph has the political experience needed to navigate city government, and the planning and policy experience to do it well. But his politics are a little too progressive for me and he lacks the personal warmth that will make conveying his policy vision to the public and his allies/adversaries on the City Council, on the Hill, and in the County Government difficult. In short, he's a gifted policy wonk who comes off a little, um, cold.

Dave Buhler — Dave is running as the Mormon-friendly "anti-Rocky". I don't much care for his politics, but his approach seems genuine. He's a Big Money Republican… and I think that's because he truly believes in that approach. He'll do well with the Hill because he's one of them. And he's known to be a good administrator. I don't fear his politics because his vision for Salt Lake City will likely be tempered by the City Council and a heavy-hitting, vocal, and persuasive activist community.

Keith Christensen — Keith is warm and approachable and knows the issues. He has the administrative chops for the office and the connections to make rebuilding bridges, if not easy, at least manageable. He's also, inexplicably, the hand-picked successor to Mayor Anderson. On the other hand, he's Big Money's favorite. And whereas Dave's approach to Big Money seems to be genuine (if just a little doctrinaire), Keith's approach lacks that "fresh-laundered feeling". To be blunt, with Keith I feel like I'm being snookered — but it feels so good.

Jenny Wilson — Jenny comes across as an import with MADE IN TAIWAN stamped on her back side — which is odd, as she has deep roots in the city (her father was a beloved Salt Lake City mayor in his day).

Jenny recently returned to the valley after doing time in the hallowed halls of academia and cutting her teeth on the fringes of Big Name™ politics — followed by a short stint in the County Council. With such an impressive resume and all the fashionable slightly-left-of-center sound bites, you'd think she was the Second Coming (and looking at the polls, others certainly seem to think that, too). But she doesn't know the district, is a zero on the issues, doesn't have the substantive experience needed to be a solid mayor, and fails to impress when asked the simplest questions in forum after forum. She is a shell of a candidate just aching for someone else to pull the strings.

… So there you go. I'm stuck between Becker and Christensen. Not a terrible place. But I'd rather, well… I'd rather have someone I can actually root for — not just vote for.

For another's perspective, you should check-out the answers to Pete Ashdown's questionnaire given by Becker, Buhler, Christensen, and Wilson. In the end, Pete endorses Ralph Becker.

Of course, this isn't just a mayoral race.

Three City Council chairs are up for re-election, including District Four — which is my district. In that race there are five candidates: Brian Doughty, Carol Goode, Luke Garrott, Jack Gray, and the incumbent Nancy Saxton. Goode and Gray have both run previously (I believe several times, each, actually), but I've yet to see any campaign literature. So it's hard to judge them, except to say that they don't appear to be viable candidates.

I've been lucky enough to speak at-length with each of the other candidates. Yet, as with our mayoral candidates, I'm at a loss. Each have their strengths — but in this year's election, I'm finding it difficult to overlook any of their deficiencies.

Brian Doughty — Brian is a good-natured man with a solid head on his shoulders. He's running because it's a chance for him to make the world a little better. And I like that about him. But he has absolutely no experience and his grasp of the issues is tentative. If this were a smaller town's council seat in question, I'd vote for him in a heart-beat. But he's not prepared for the big time. Put him on a city board or a community council and he'll be ready to run in a couple years.

Luke Garrott — Luke is a seasoned political junky, and a professor of political science at the U. He's passionate about serving and he's got a grassroots resume that should serve him well. But Luke lacks the finesse that's so important in the collaborative environment of the City Council… and the sense of decorum/chairos that might otherwise render his bite a little more, well, useful. We all appreciate the political bulldog… but this one isn't housebroken.

Nancy Saxton — Nancy has been in office for eight years. She knows how the machine works and she drives with two hands on the wheel. She is a consummate administrator and a savvy public servant with pluck. But she's dead-wrong on issues that are important to me. And not just a little wrong… on the handful of issues that mean a great deal to me, I oppose her almost completely and fail to fathom the logic she's used to come to her decisions.

So who do I vote for? The newbie that might be really good in two years… the wonk who's bound to alienate the people he needs to work with… or the savvy incumbent whose recent policy initiatives make no sense? I guess it's time to take my first impressions and my first round of homework and dig a little deeper...

Who are you voting for?

Tip: Delete Playlist Tracks from iTunes Library

2007-08-12T21:23:00.000-06:00

I love iTunes. Love love love... but it isn't perfect.

For example, when I come across a song in a playlist that I not only don't want in the playlist but don't want at all, hitting DELETE just removes it from the playlist… But it's still in my iTunes Library.

Yuck.

Now I know the secret: COMMAND + OPTION + DELETE scrubs the track from my hard drive altogether. Nice.

Thanks Apple Blog!

The (Socio-sexual) Matrix... Reloaded

2007-08-10T09:48:00.000-06:00

I don't mean to post twice in a row on the same subject… but I had such great feedback, that I just had to update the graphic. You'll notice that ranges of options are now much more obvious, and that "other" and "ambiguous" are now discreet options on their respective facets — I'm still mulling that second choice. Are "other" and "ambiguous" really discrete? Hm...

The new question I'm trying to tackle, though, is whether fertility is a facet of the socio-sexual matrix. Thoughts?

NB: All drafts are available in my public Box.net folder, and other posts on the subject are (of course) available via the socio-sexual matrix topic category.

Introducing the (Latest) Socio-sexual Matrix

2007-08-06T14:05:00.001-06:00

It all started a few years back when I was confronted with the inadequacy of our language to fully describe — and the mind, therefore, to either parse or grok — one's socio-sexual condition.

So I got to thinking …and sketching.

With time, I came to the belief not in a spectrum of sexuality (straight–gay), but a nuanced matrix. I first wrote about it a couple of years back in my essays on being a gay Mormon (see Part I). I even put together a rough information graphic, but it's been lost somewhere in the shuffle. Since then, I've continued to think about the matrix and refine it. And then, this last week, a dear friend asked a question about gender or some such, and I decided it was time to flesh-out a new draft of the matrix (PDF).

Download the graphic…

You'll notice that the matrix features nine facets — core gender, genitalia (and secondary sexual characteristics), genetics, orientation, libido, focus, commitment, (approach to) social norms, and (approach to) sex norms. Each of these facets, in turn, feature a number of manifestations. Some are discrete manifestations, while others are harder to define — being more like a cloud of choice, or a point along a spectrum. From core gender, moving clock-wise, each grouping — yellows, green, blue, pinks — represents increasingly malleable states of being.

For sake of simplicity, this graphic doesn't address related issues of inputs and the subtle (and sometimes not-so-subtle) changes that come about over time.

NB: All drafts are available in my public Box.net folder, and other posts on the subject are (of course) available via the socio-sexual matrix topic category.

Web Tool: iConcert

2007-08-05T21:15:00.000-06:00

I'd like to introduce you to a wonderful little add-on for iTunes — it's called iConcert. It produces a calendar of up-coming concerts for artists in your iTunes library. It's mighty handy, and because it's a plug-in for iTunes, everything is tidy and in one place. And it's even available for those folks on a Windows machine.

I first read about it at Lifehacker, way back in January. Better late than never, eh?

Meme: Food Druthers

2007-07-30T10:26:00.001-06:00

It's not exactly a meme until you take it and run with it, but the folks over at Serious Eats inspired me with this question: regarding food, what are few of your like-more-thans?

I Like _________ More Than _________ .

savory… sweet
rare… well-done
al dente… soft
cooked… raw
local… shipped
artisinal… industrial

Sermon | On Prayer

2007-07-20T23:30:00.000-06:00

In the first post of my series on Mormon piety (I, II, III), I discussed how as members of the Church we are called-upon from time to time to give a short sermon (in the Church we call this, simply, a "talk"). Well, last Sunday was my turn — the last time I spoke was New Years Day 2006. I thought it would be nice to post it here.

Introduction

I read this week of a man in Romania, who had sued God for "fraud" and "betrayal of trust" for failing to answer his prayers. He recently had his case dismissed in court. Apparently, the court declared that they had no jurisdiction over God.

As humorous as I find the story, I can't help but feel a certain sympathy for this man's plight. Don't we each sue for God's love? For His attention and guidance? But, in the end, I have to say that the man appears to be missing the point of prayer. Horribly, horribly missing the point.

[Pause]

A couple weeks ago, Bro *** came to me and asked me to speak. He said that the overall theme of the meeting today was on the Holy Ghost, and that he'd asked Sister *** to speak on receiving comfort from the Holy Ghost, and would I mind speaking on receiving knowledge from the Holy Ghost. I teased him, and said that I was still figuring it out for myself — but that I'd be happy to talk, all the same.

In the weeks since being asked to speak, my mind has churned on the subject... And I've changed my focus a number of times, as I've tried to craft a talk that reflected the will of the Lord. It's my earnest prayer that each of us might be instructed by the Spirit today... and that we'll all — each and every one of us — walk away from this meeting, resolved to seek out the Lord and His guidance more frequently and earnestly.

[Pause]

In dividing the subject between Sister *** and I, Brother *** made an interesting distinction between the comfort we receive from the Holy Ghost and the light and truth we might receive. It's a awkward distinction, of course... but necessary to make such a large topic manageable. I hope you'll consider my talk as a simple extension of Sister ***'s inspired words.

I especially appreciated...

[Reference Sister ***'s talk in detail]

Prayer

An essential part of receiving guidance from our Heavenly Father — and something that my mind returned to, time and again, as I prepared this talk — is prayer. So I'd like to spend some time discussing this in-depth.

Why Do We Pray?

First and foremost, we pray because it is instinctual. We are children of our Heavenly Father, and we want His love and attention. We want His advice. We want to spend time with Him. We sense that He is near and eager to listen to us, and deep inside we know that He wants to bless us. We pray to know His will, and to thank Him for His hand in our lives.

How Do We Pray?

In the 2003 Spring General Conference, Elder Russell M. Nelson gave a talk entitled "Sweet Hour of Prayer". In it, gives advice on how we should pray:

Jesus taught us how. We pray to our Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, by the power of the Holy Ghost. This is the true order of prayer...

Jesus revealed that we pray to a wise Father who knows what things we have need of, before we ask Him.

Mormon taught his son, Moroni, that we should pray with all the energy of [our] heart[s]. Nephi exclaimed, I pray continually for [my people] by day, and mine eyes water my pillow by night, and I cry unto my God in faith, and I know that he will hear my cry.

The sweet power of prayer can be intensified by fasting, on occasion, when appropriate to a particular need.

Prayers can be offered even in silence. One can think a prayer, especially when words would interfere. We often kneel to pray; we may stand or be seated. Physical position is less important than is spiritual submission to God.

We close our prayer[s] in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. When we hear another's prayer, we audibly add our amen, meaning, That is my prayer, too.

I appreciate that second point: that Jesus revealed that we pray to a wise Heavenly Father who knows what things we stand in need of — before we even ask Him. That's really important, here, as we discuss receiving guidance through prayer. Too often, we think our prayers are a way of convincing our Heavenly Father of the worthiness of our cause... when, in reality, it is a way for us to align our will with our Father's. That through prayer, and through the quiet promptings of the Spirit, we learn how God works.

The Bible Dictionary says this under "Prayer":

Prayer is the act by which the will of the Father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other. The object of prayer is not to change the will of God, but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant, but that are made conditional on our asking for them. Blessings require some work or effort on our part before we can obtain them. Prayer is a form of work, and is an appointed means for obtaining the highest of all blessings.

A natural extension of this teaching, is that we can receive answers to our prayers by better aligning our lives and our minds with the will of our Heavenly Father. Imagine that asking for guidance from our Heavenly Father is like a child asking an adult about where to find a constellation in the night sky. We've all been there ...camping maybe, or sitting on a back porch somewhere. The first requirement is that the constellation that the child is asking after is even visible that night...and then, if the answer is even available, a wise adult will crouch behind the child and with their head near the child's, point-out the constellation in question.

Our Heavenly Father isn't too different: we ask a question that we can know the answer to, and He meets us half way. If we're in a place where we can be taught, He bridges the distance, and from our limited vantage, points-up the way.

This reminds me of a scripture in D&C 88:63-64:

Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you; seek me diligently and ye shall find me; ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. Whatsoever ye ask the Father in my name it shall be given unto you, that is expedient for you.

This alignment happens as we set our lives in order, of course — living the gospel, keeping the commandments — but it also happens as we seek after knowledge. You see, as we understand the world around us better, we become more like our Heavenly Father in very important ways, and we are then better-prepared to receive the answers we seek.

In the same General Conference talk, Elder Nelson relates this story:

Many of us have had experiences with the sweet power of prayer. One of mine was shared with a stake patriarch from southern Utah. I first met him in my medical office more than 40 years ago, during the early pioneering days of [heart] surgery. This saintly soul suffered much because of a failing heart. He pleaded for help, thinking that his condition resulted from a damaged but repairable valve in his heart.

Extensive evaluation revealed that he had two faulty valves. While one could be helped surgically, the other could not. Thus, an operation was not advised. He received this news with deep disappointment.

Subsequent visits ended with the same advice. Finally, in desperation, he spoke to me with considerable emotion: Dr. Nelson, I have prayed for help and have been directed to you. The Lord will not reveal to me how to repair that second valve, but He can reveal it to you. Your mind is so prepared. If you will operate upon me, the Lord will make it known to you what to do. Please perform the operation that I need, and pray for the help that you need.

His great faith had a profound effect upon me. How could I turn him away again? Following a fervent prayer together, I agreed to try. In preparing for that fateful day, I prayed over and over again, but still did not know what to do for his leaking tricuspid valve. Even as the operation commenced, my assistant asked, What are you going to do for that?

I said, I do not know.

We began the operation. After relieving the obstruction of the first valve, we exposed the second valve. We found it to be intact but so badly dilated that it could no longer function as it should. While examining this valve, a message was distinctly impressed upon my mind: Reduce the circumference of the ring. I announced that message to my assistant. The valve tissue will be sufficient if we can effectively reduce the ring toward its normal size.

But how? We could not apply a belt as one would use to tighten the waist of over-sized trousers. We could not squeeze with a strap as one would cinch a saddle on a horse. Then a picture came vividly to my mind, showing how stitches could be placedîto make a pleat here and a tuck thereîto accomplish the desired objective. I still remember that mental imageîcomplete with dotted lines where sutures should be placed. The repair was completed as diagrammed in my mind. We tested the valve and found the leak to be reduced remarkably. My assistant said, Its a miracle.

I responded, Its an answer to prayer.

The patients recovery was rapid and his relief gratifying. Not only was he helped in a marvelous way, but surgical help for other people with similar problems had become a possibility. I take no credit. Praise goes to this faithful patriarch and to God, who answered our prayers.

A lifetime of preparation made it possible for Elder Nelson to be an instrument in the hands of God in answering another man's prayer.

What are we doing today to expand our minds and hearts to be better-suited to receive the revelation we so desperately desire? Or do we make the mistake that Oliver Cowdrey made — in taking no thought save but to ask the Lord?

[Pause]

So we want to pray... we know how to pray — and pray in power... we've aligned our lives in such a way as to be worthy to receive revelation... and we've prepared our minds and hearts to be better suited to understand the revelation we receive. What next?

In his October, 1989 Conference talk entitled "Learning to Recognize Answers to Prayer", Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles gave some guidance:

When answers to urgent prayer don't seem to come, it can be that we don't understand some truths about prayer, or because we don't recognize answers when they come. Communication with our Father in Heaven is not a trivial matter. It is a sacred privilege. It is based upon unchanging principles. When we receive help from our Father in Heaven, it is in response to faith, obedience, and the proper use of agency.

He continues:

When He answers yes, it is to give us confidence.
When He answers no, it is to prevent error.
When He withholds an answer, it is to have us grow through faith in Him.

Elder Scott finishes his talk with this promise:

If you seek His help, be sure your life is clean, your motives are worthy, and you're willing to do what He asks... for He will answer your prayers. He is your loving Father; you are His beloved child. He loves you perfectly and wants to help you.

[Close with a testimony of the power of prayer.]

Meme: 5 & 8

2007-07-11T09:17:00.000-06:00

So... the "five things you don't know about me" has been going around for a while (Matt Asay, most recently)... and now there's an "eight things" that's just sprouted in the gay Mormon blogs ( aka, among the MoHos ). I saw it last night on Abelard's blog, then this morning on Gimple's blog and over at Gay LDS Actor's pad.

So I'm gonna combine them…

Silus Grok isn't my real name — oh, wait, you knew that. Okay... no one in my life calls me by the name I was given at birth. Not even my mom.
I've thrown up just four times in my life (not counting the stuff everyone does as a baby/toddler)...
The one and only time I've kissed a girl was when I was in fifth grade — on a dare — and it was gross. This is not one of the times I've thrown up.
I'm afraid of stairs — not a phobia, by any measure, but still… I've fallen or been pushed down more flights of stairs than I would care to admit.
I'm the youngest of nine children, three of whom I first met at my dad's funeral, and two of whom I've never met.
In high school, I was voted by my peers the most likely to be kidnapped by terrorists — and the faculty and staff voted me one of the most influential students.
In the last few months I've been in the paper or on the TV news five times. All positive... and only twice for the same issue.
My favorite smell — hands-down — is roadkill skunk.

As usual, drop a comment if you happen to pick-up the meme… MoHos do eight, everyone else does five.

:)

Update: Looks like this isn't the first time I've caught this meme. They say memory is the first thing to go...

And Now... a Word from Our Sponsor

2007-06-28T09:21:00.000-06:00

A little YouTube goodness...

And, of course, a public service announcement to cap it all off...

Renting, Buying, & Bull(pucky)

2007-05-08T00:20:00.000-06:00

I haven't been a renter for eight years.

I purchased my first home (a condo), in Provo Utah and subsidized my mortgage with income from renting out my spare bedrooms to BYU students. It was a good purchase and I value what I learned from the experience about paying bills on-time and fiscal health in general… when I sold it, I made paper profit — it sold for more than I bought it for — but lost on the back-end until I factored-in the off-sets from rental income. I was stunned. I had paid more on my mortgage than I had gained in appreciation. Somewhere along the line, I made the common error of thinking that paper profit was the end goal… and believing the myth that buying is always better than renting.

If you're in the market to buy, or if you're in the mood for a reality check, you'll enjoy this amazing calculator from The New York Times, which lets you compare the true costs of renting versus buying. You may be surprised.

As much as I love owning my home, I am a firm opponent of the idea that renters are "just throwing their money away". It's false on its face for the many buyers without the credit to get a good interest rate and those who plan on selling within a few years... but worse, it ignores the value that housing — regardless of whether it's in a rental or not — offers. There's value in having a roof over your head, just ask a homeless person. And unless you own your home outright, you pay for that privilege.

So why the kerfuffle? Three reasons, really: mortgages are big money, home ownership is part (and parcel?) of the American Dream™, and home-buyers are seen as better citizens by all levels of government.

UPDATE: Another article on the problem with the idea that buying is absolutely the best idea for everyone… this time from Get Rich Slowly.

Charing Cross Road & The History Boys | Part V of Driving to London

2007-05-06T19:17:00.000-06:00

So after a trying and equally delightful first day back in England, I was ready for a solid night's sleep… which is exactly what I got. So I got up bright and early, and lazed about the flat for an hour or so — eating breakfast, catching some of the odder moments of English television programming, and showering — before hitting the streets of London.

The plan for the day?

A cruise up and down Charing Cross Road and where ever else my feet my take me. The road divides the Covent Garden area to the east and SoHo to the West neatly, and snakes through the theater district and Chinatown… and it's famous for it's myriad bookshops. The last being my main attraction to the road, and the thing which first brought me here many years ago during my first visit to London.

So with a little breakfast in my gut, I headed-out. The day was cool and bright — perfect for a walk — and the stones were damp and clean from an evening's rain. I wandered back up to where Mihaela and I had walked the evening before and snapped some photos, then followed a number of small alleys over to Leicester Station. It was early, and everything was shuttered, and only a few shop keeps were out getting their displays ready for the day's business. So I did a lot of window shopping (my favorite kind!), and walked and re-walked most of the paths that criss-cross the neighborhood.

I noticed, early-on, that The History Boys was showing in the neighborhood, and decided to grab a ticket when the box office opened at eleven. In the mean time, I wandered… going into book and curio shops as they opened one-by-one, finally returning to the theater at 11 and snagging a ticket for the night's show.

From the theater, I walked a few steps down to St Martin's Spice and had a delightful lunch of curries and papadams… and then my walk up Charing Cross began in earnest, and I visited every book seller that caught my interest. Somewhere along the way, I called Mihaela, and we met-up at her school office, and spent a little while together before I headed to the theater.

The show was heart-breaking, thought-provoking, and amazing… and I purchased a theater edition of the book and headed out around the back of the theater to take one of the alleys back to the flat. It was a fortuitous choice, and I saw the cast exiting the backstage door. But I was too shy to ask for any autographs, as I didn't have a pen. I vowed to return.

The evening ended with dinner in the flat, and a little television while I wound-down from the day's excitement.

Next Stop: A Dinner Party!
__________________

Photos from this leg of the trip can be found at my flickr account... starting with this photo I took of a mail truck.

Gotta Get Me Some Vittles

2007-05-04T21:05:00.000-06:00

So today was the first day of the Spring Dine O' Round, here in Salt Lake City — and the first time for the Spring installment of what has been an Autumn-only ritual until now.

Here's the scoop: for about two weeks (from Friday, May 4th through Saturday, May 19th), select downtown restaurants have a special event menu featuring $10 lunches and $15 or $25 dinners (per person). Now, that may not sound all that special… but these are 30 of the best restaurants downtown, in a city that is becoming known for its dining.

So come on down, and splurge a little — $25 dinner at The Melting Pot or the Metropolitan? Unheard of!

An Affirmation of Faith

2007-05-04T08:04:00.000-06:00

A few years ago, I was asked what Mormon piety looked like by a pastor-in-training, and I answered with a three-part series on the subject (I II III). To this day, these posts are among my most favorite…

But yesterday, Margaret Young responded to a much more nuanced question of personal faith: "What does it mean to be LDS?". And respond she did… with one of the most beautiful statements of personal faith I have ever read. I could say more, but fear that anything I say might cheapen her tender, heartfelt, and lyrical response.

Mormons on "The Mormons"

2007-05-01T10:05:00.000-06:00

So last night was a night that has been long-in-coming among a number of my Mormon friends… it was the premier of the two-part series by PBS entitled "The Mormons".

And I missed it.

Though, to my credit, I enjoyed what I was doing (watching a little league game) much more.

: )

But it was a big night, and I'm hoping to find a place and some friends to watch the second installment with. In the mean time, there are a few open threads on the subject in the Bloggernacle: one at Nine Moons, one at Times & Seasons, and one at Mormon Mentality. And not to be out shined, the Church has two (TWO!) press releases on the show: one, two.

( Look for my comments on the shows and on our reactions in those threads. )

UPDATE: Looks like I can watch "The Mormons" online! Thanks for the heads-up, Sustain'd!

Here's another press release from the Church on the show.

Meme: Three Wishes

2007-04-30T11:42:00.000-06:00

So Rusty, of Nine-Moons fame, recently pitched a new meme... and I couldn't help myself.

"Imagine you met a real life genie that offered you three wishes. Assuming those wishes would come true what would you wish for? (You must also assume 1) the real consequences to your wishes and 2) your wishes can’t interfere with other people’s agency and 3) they fall within the laws of science and 4) you can’t change the past)"

So without further ado, I give you my three wishes:

That I could be a better brother/uncle/son.
That my hopes for gays in the Church would be realized.
That my business ventures pay off.

How's about you?

Around the Flat | Part IV of Driving to London

2007-04-29T22:07:00.000-06:00

The original plan had been for me to land at Heathrow at 6am, speed through customs, then hope the Tube to attend church at the Hyde Park chapel... but landing an hour late and then spending two hours in a line at customs kinna shot that plan in the foot. So I headed straight to the flat in Covent Garden, instead.

I love London — I'd say I love England, but I've only ever seen London, so I don't want to jump ahead of myself — but I must say that their building habits are a little, um, odd... things like having the light switches to rooms outside of the room, or having the door knob in the center of the door (which makes leveraging the door closed or open really really awkward). Anyway, I was reminded, upon my arrival at the flat, just how odd things were to my American sensibilities.

But it's okay... I eventually figured out how to enter the building, unlock the flat door, and turn on the light to the bathroom. Eventually.

Once inside, I debated with myself whether I should power through the day until bed time (a really good plan to defeat jet lag quickly), or take a short nap... I opted for the nap. My feet hurt, I was a little smelly from the trip... so a nap was in order. About an hour later, I got up and rang Mihaela, and we made plans to meet-up a little later. So I had a bite to eat, got familiar with the computer, internet, and television set-up, then headed around the block to the Covent Garden market to get my bearings.

I had been here a number of times in the past, so I was eager to reacquaint myself with its nooks and crannies. I had a blast... and when Mihaela joined me, I showed her all around. She joked that she should be showing me around, since this was her home... but I can't help myself. I'm a born tour guide.

We spent the next few hours wandering the streets, and I did my best to not buy stuff (it was, after all, Sunday) — but I did take note of where the Tin Tin shop was for later perusal. At the end of the day, she and I headed back around the corner to the little pasta shop across the street from my flat for dinner.

It was the perfect first day in London (thanks Mihaela!).

Next Stop: Charing Cross Road!
__________________

Photos from this leg of the trip can be found at my flickr account... starting with this photo I took from the flat's livingroom window.

Merging Faith & Self

2007-04-29T18:49:00.000-06:00

An article which ran in this morning's Provo Daily Herald, highlights the disparate experiences of gays at BYU by highlighting the stories of three gay cougars — one current student and two alumni. I know a few of the people interviewed, and I thought it might be of interest to more than a couple of my readers.

Power to the People

2007-04-11T08:54:00.000-06:00

So it looks like local start-up Politic2.0 is launching its next-generation political site this morning with an event they're billing as ConventionNext. Should be interesting to see how it works...

This is what I got in an e-mail from Daniel Holsinger, Politic2.0's president and founder:

Politic 2.0 will host its first ConventionNEXT -- a forum for bloggers to interact with politicians.We have had a tremendous response from the local Utah political community. Congressman Chris Cannon is extremely excited to interact with bloggers. Off-site participants will be able view real time streaming video of the event and ask/vote questions.

1) Please Register at ConventionNext at Politic2.0
2) Apple's video/media player is required for streaming video.

The Agenda

8:50-9:00

Technology Overview, Introductions by Randall Bennett, VP Community

9:00-9:15

Congressman Chris Cannon remarks

9:15-10:15

Questions & Answers with Congressman facilitated by Daniel Holsinger, President/Founder of Politic2.0 Submitted Questions will be voted up/down by on-site/off-site participants (in real time). An alpha version of the question/voting system can be seen at conventionnext.politic20.com after 8:00PM Tuesday night.

( Our interactive question process uses a system like digg.com )

Daniel Holsinger, President of Politic 2.0 will moderate the questions from the voting system, working the questions from the top down. The system will continue to be live and as he finishes each topic, and he'll continue to ask questions from the top.

While this is going on, two other things will be happening:

The bloggers in the room and those paying attention on the net will be encouraged to write blog entries on each of the topics Congressman Cannon is addressing (instead of one big blog entry about the whole thing, although they can do that if they want).

These posts will be automatically discovered by TagJungle and reported to Politic20, causing them to automatically show up on Politic20.com under the topic that is being blogged about. Participants will also be strongly encouraged to participate in rating, writing and commenting on the Politic20 wiki pages about the event.

The event pages on Politic20 will have two columns; the left column will be the wiki side, showing sections for ratings, reviews, comments, discussions, etc. The right column will show the most recent blog posts that are relevant to the topic of the page you are on. TagJungle will also be harvesting links from all blog posts and will be providing Politic20 with lists of the most popular video, audio, documents and urls related to the topic you are viewing. These lists will be displayed above the blog posts from TagJungle.

10:15-10:30

Wrap-up and networking

10:30-11:00

Finish-up blog posts, talk with other bloggers, talk with us about Politic2.0, etc.

Los Angeles > London | Part III of Driving to London

2007-03-18T15:24:00.000-06:00

I awoke early Saturday morning to shower and gather my things together. The concierge had hired a car for me, and it was to arrive at 6:30am. Too early for breakfast — too early for much of anything — but the drive was pleasant and fast. My driver and I chatted along the way, which made the trip all the more of both.

A quick check-in (I never have more luggage than a single carry-on), and I was boarding... and from there, I can't much remember what happened when — or on which leg of the journey. Of the trip East, I remember a delay in Chicago due to a storm in New York that kept me from making it to church in London. I also remember Felecia joining us in Chicago — an engaging, lively, and beautiful woman on her way (via a short holiday in London) to South Africa to complete a Fullbright Scholarship... and I remember spending two hours (TWO HOURS!) in customs upon arriving at Heathrow.

But the rest, well, I can't recall exactly.

Some time during my trip — Los Angeles to London, or the other way around — I saw Little Miss Sunshine, which was a delight that brought me to tears and to laughter a few times — and whose soundtrack I've since purchased and listened to many times. I saw The World's Fastest Indian, which was wonderful and which reminded me of home and friends who had been extras in it (part of it was shot in Utah). I saw Marie Antoinette... which would have been twice as good had it been just a little bit shorter. I saw pieces of Man of the Year, and agreed with the assessment of one reviewer who said it was Wag the Dog minus the insightful political commentary. And I saw Running with Scissors, which somehow held my full attention despite being filled with unlovable characters and suffering from a pace which could only be described as glacial. It did, however, sport a wonderful sound track — which I also purchased upon my return home.

And that's it: a fog of memories at 36,000 feet, interrupted by bags of peanuts, orange juice, and two perfectly horrendous in-flight "meals". The strange thing in all of this, is that I love to fly... and loved my flights… I just can't recall why.

Next Stop: The Flat!

Not Gay.

2007-03-15T10:09:00.000-06:00

So, I interrupt the series on my recent trip to London to bring you a little mirth... namely, to introduce you to my favorite comic — whose strip today (story arch begins here) made me laugh out loud.

I'd recommend starting at the beginning (which, um, looks a little different) — or, at the very least, reading-up on the characters. You can even check-out the PVP entry at Wikipedia.

For any of my readers worried that this comic strip may be risqué... um, it's ME, folks... though not a children's comic, this is definitely PG material.

Vegas > Los Angeles | Part II of Driving to London

2007-03-10T08:05:00.000-07:00

I woke-up Friday morning and dawdled at my sister's place for an hour or so — breakfast, a couple of games of sudoku, and then a shower — before hitting the road.

It was early, and the roads were pretty clear, heading out of town. Down to Primm, then up and over the mountains to Baker. It's a lovely drive with good roads, little traffic, and expansive views of the desert. I called a few friends to make-up for the radio that had been stolen when my car was broken into a while back… and I helped a business partner with some tech question or other.

A quick stop in Baker for a little breakfast, and then a quick stop in Victorville for gas and a car wash before descending down into Los Angeles. I was in Pasadena before I knew it — just 3.5 hours from Vegas. Another hour to cross town, and I was at the hotel.

It's strange for me to be in a hotel of any particular quality, as I've always preferred to stay in smaller one-off establishments and bed-and-breakfasts. I'm just sleeping there, so I can never justify paying for prestige or pampering. In Boston, I stay at the College Club. In DC, I stay at the Tabbard Inn. In NYC, I've stayed at the Y. Each place just a bed, a shower, and a friendly face at the front desk. I like it that way. But this place had a concierge, and complimentary drinks (I got orange juice) upon arriving.

Eh. I think I'll stick to small.

The big reason for flying out from Los Angeles instead of Salt Lake, was the wedding of an old friend and roommate… I couldn't make his wedding because it would have meant leaving for London way too late, but I could make it for his bachelor party. So I did.

It was great... he, and I, and five or six of his closest friends all descended on Medieval Times for an evening of Campbell's soup, chicken, knights, horses, and lots and lots of laughter. Even with the cost of entry set at the astonishingly high $50 per person, the evening was a complete success… and I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

We're all Mormons, so the evening ended at a respectable hour, and I was dropped at the hotel with hugs and promises of seeing each other again, soon.

Next stop: The Airport!

__________________

Photos from this leg of the trip can be found at my flickr account... starting with this photo I took of three of us at Medieval Times.

Salt Lake City > Vegas | Part I of Driving to London

2007-03-05T08:51:00.000-07:00

My trip actually started the week before Valentine's Day, when I took the beast (my 1994 Saturn SC2) in to get a new water pump. I had had a coolant leak in it for a little over a year, but hadn't found a mechanic I trusted. When I finally found the great guys down at Airview Texaco (1700 South, 1100 East — and they're full-service!), I was just too busy to leave the car for a day... but this trip was important, and I didn't want a failing water pump to keep me from seeing my sister, wishing my old roommate well on the eve of his wedding, or catching my plane. So I took her in... and a few hours later, she had a new water pump and coolant reservoir — and I had the confidence I needed to drive to London.

Instead of going out on the town, like I did last year, for Valentine's Day, I stayed home and packed... Then on Thursday morning, I hit the road.

My plan was to stop-in at BYU and have Reid — my barber — cut my hair for the trip. Then a breakfast date. But the breakfast date fell-through, so I stopped-in at the BYU Museum of Art to check-out their Beholding Salvation exhibit. Very very nice... and I was happily snapping photos of my favorite works until I was informed that photography wasn't allowed — though no sign said as much — by a surly she-guard.

* mumbles about the excesses of copyright *

But the exhibit was nice enough to inspire a visit to the museum store, where they had a lovely book for sale — with most, though (infuriatingly) not all the pieces featured. I also grabbed one for my sister.

After that, I hit the road in earnest and arrived in Henderson (Nevada) at 4pm. Right on time. It was good to see my sister and two of her three children. And after I passed-out some gifts that had been accumulating — including a hoodie for Chael from War Regime — my sister and I headed-out for dinner at Kona Grill. Tasty food... neat ambiance... smelled weird in the back. But a wonderful evening when all was said and done.

Next Stop: Los Angeles!
__________________

Photos from this leg of the trip can be found at my flickr account... starting with this photo I took at the museum.

500, 300, 200+

2007-03-02T20:55:00.000-07:00

I took 500 or so photos on my trip, and upon returning, I whittled them down to 300. Now, I'm going though them all, throwing-out anything off and cleaning-up the remaining. Then, ~~about once a day~~ every few days ( so as to not overwhelm my dear readers ), I'm uploading about a day's worth of photos.

FEB 15: Salt Lake City > Vegas, starts here.
FEB 16: Vegas > Los Angeles, starts here.
FEB 17: Los Angeles > London, no photos.
FEB 18: Around the Flat, starts here.
FEB 19: Charing Cross Road & The History Boys, starts here.
FEB 20: The Dinner Party, starts here.
FEB 21: NLA, Notting Hill, & Wicked, starts here.
FEB 22: SoHo, Jermyn, Marlybone High Street, starts here.
FEB 23: Last Morning in London starts here.
FEB 23: London > Los Angeles, no photos.
FEB 24: Los Angeles > Salt Lake City, starts here.

Back from London

2007-02-25T17:23:00.000-07:00

So, I've just returned from a short vacation across the pond in London. It was a wonderful (WONDERFUL!) trip... and I can't thank my bud Gareth enough for hosting me nor Mihaela enough for taking time off here-and-there to play.

The trip, strangely enough, began by driving to Los Angeles — with a stop-over in Las Vegas to see my sister and her family — to wish an old roommate well on the eve of his wedding. I then took-off from LAX for a flight to London with a stop-over in Chicago. I had hoped to attend church with Mihaela Sunday morning, but snow delays in Chicago and two hours spent in London customs (good GRIEF) nipped that in the bud. Instead, I went straight for Gareth's and a short nap. After that, I walked the city a bit and then met-up with Mihaela to show her around a bit (this wasn't my first time to London, and she hooted that she should be showing her around... but she enjoyed getting the night off from playing tour guide). The plane ride wasn't all bad, of course... I met a delightful woman named Felicia, on her way to London with a pal before heading to South Africa on Fullbright.

MONDAY

I woke well-rested and set-out to see some more of the city. I focused on the book sellers of Charing Cross Road, and picked-up tickets to see the London production of History Boys, that night. Lunched at a wonderful little tandoori restaurant called Saint Martin's Spice, then headed over to the London Business School to see Mihaela before returning to Covent Garden for the play.

TUESDAY

Slept like a baby again, and woke to Gareth fumbling with his keys as he returned from his week-end out-of-town. I had accidentally locked him out. I was installed comfortably in his bed, so he crashed on the couch for an spell before he headed in to the office (OUCH!). After my morning routine, I set-out to do a little food shopping for a dinner party Gareth and I were hosting that night...

The whole day was a lot of fun — shopping, cooking, and chatting the night away.

WEDNESDAY

Wednesday morning, I took it slowly — I hate to rush while on holiday — and didn't get out of the flat until after one. From there, I hoofed it up to the New London Architecture... and shot plenty of photos on my stroll. After drooling over all the amazing maps and maquettes, I hopped the tube back over to Baker Street to catch-up with Mihaela. We chatted, then took the tube out to Notting Hill, where Manu (her amazing boyfriend) joined us for a walk up to this amazing little book store that specializes in food literature and cookbooks. I'd found it on my last trip to London, and was determined to return.

From there we headed down to Victoria Station and the Apollo Victoria to see Wicked. I flirted with Adam, one of the theater workers while they ran-off to find some pizza for Manu (no complaints), and then we settled-in for a delightful evening of song, dance, and deciphering.

THURSDAY

My last day in London wasn't as sunny as the rest of my trip... but no bother. I packed in the morning, then walked over to St Jermyn to do some clothes shopping, and then up to the Marlybone high street to window-shop a spell. Gareth met me there for dinner at Fish Works — and he treated, which was especially nice.

FRIDAY

Breakfast at Paul with Gareth, then a tube ride to Heathrow and my 11am direct flight to LAX. The plane ride was nice... no new friends made, but I did catch edited versions of Running with Scissors and Little Miss Sunshine. So no complaints... landed in LAX and spent 15 minutes in customs (way to GO!)... and then six HOURS snarled in LA traffic. Ugh. I had hoped to sleep at my sister's in Las Vegas, but I was full-on hallucinating in Victorville, so I got a hotel.

SATURDAY

Got into Las Vegas at 9am and spent the morning with my sister, my niece, a nephew, and one of his best friends. Sissy treated us all to lunch at PF Chang (I had never been before) before I hit the road one last time... and I finally collapsed in my very own bed last night at 10 pm.

That's not all I have to say, of course, but that's enough for now... pictures and more stories to follow!

:)

PS... Now that I'm back, I can let it out of the box that the poem The Frail Light of Light is a short homage (no pun intended) to the men of London... which means I've changed the word "subway" to "tube".

The Frail Light of Life

2007-02-19T07:34:00.001-07:00

A flush of blood on his thin, porcelain skin;
he looks about...
and his lips pucker 'round
a sucking stone. A hard candy.
Lemon, apple perhaps.
He doesn't know he's handsome,
and he may not be, of course.
He's just so damn easy in his skin.

A youthful air shimmers
about his head and shoulders.
He chats-up a friend as
they wait for the tube.
His hands whip about in a flurry
suddenly
as he comes to something funny.
And then he changes the subject
suddenly.

All serious, now.

The bell chimes
the train's imminent arrival.
He gathers himself about.
His frail light dims
as he steels himself.
Stepping through the door,
he is a different man.
The depth of his gaze fixes
on his reflection in the glass.
His youthful air, now precipitate
in the memory
of his shadow on the platform.
Trampled, there, under the rush.

A bell chimes
the train's imminent departure.
The train pulls-away.
He's gray through the shade
of the window.
And then gone.

Will You Be My Valentine?

2007-02-14T11:30:00.000-07:00

I want to wish everyone, regardless of their luck with love, a happy Valentine's Day. It's ironic that the iconic confection of the day is strawberries dipped in bitter chocolate. Bitter, sweet... it couldn't be more apropos.

So no matter what your plans are, I hope you treat yourself well... to quote Eden Ahbez:

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is (just) to love and be loved in return.

It may sound trite, but the sentiment is true: we're wired for love — and on this day, we're all a little more sensitive to any short-comings we might perceive.

I [Heart] Chris Yates

2007-02-13T08:53:00.000-07:00

I love to drive… I love maps… and I love art (maps and art are rarely mutually exclusive). So imagine my thrice-blessed eyes this morning, when I came across artist Chris Yates' version (can you find the errors?) of a subway-esque interstate map for the US?

I think I've reached Nirvana (and not the crap-band from the 80s).

And for my brothers and sisters who love Canada as much as I do, Chris also has one for you…

Hat tip: Strange Maps

Abraham Lincoln

2007-02-12T12:19:00.000-07:00

I share the American love for and reverence of Abraham Lincoln... and better writers than I, have more and better to say than I do. So on this, the 198th anniversary of his birth, I'd simply like to point your minds to his contribution to the Great American Experiment — both as commander in chief and as a great thinker of his time.

For those of you with a little extra time today, you should check-out what might be the earliest photo of our 16th president in existence… or read-up on the controversy surrounding one of my favorite quotes:

As a result of the war, corporations have been enthroned, and an era of corruption in high places will follow, and the money power of the country will endeavor to prolong its reign by working on the prejudices of the people until all wealth is aggregated in a few hands, and the republic is destroyed. I feel at this moment more anxiety for the safety of my country than ever before even in the midst of war. God grant that my suspicions may prove groundless.

Shame it may not have even been his. No matter its provenance, it certainly has proven prescient.

Happy Presidents Day.